Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The provided line graph illustrates the data on the proportion of jobs in four fields of the market in the US from 1960 to 2020. The data has been calibrated in millions.

At first glance, it is crystal clear that in 1960, the utmost number of jobs were in the manufacturing sector which were 15 million and it reached its peak in 1980 to 20 million but it gradually declined from this figure to around 13 million in 2020. Meanwhile, the least number of employment opportunities in 1960 was in healthcare which soared rapidly and became one of the sectors with the maximum jobs available in 2020 with about 16 million jobs accompanied by the retail field.

Probing further, retail and agriculture provided equal number of jobs in 1960 with 6 million jobs, employment in retail grew steadily touching 16 million after six decades, while employment in agriculture went down moderately reaching to 2 million which was the lowest in 2020.

Overall, it is evident that during 1960, maximum employment opportunities were in the manufacturing sector and minimum were in healthcare work whereas in 2020, the highest ratio of jobs were available in retail and healthcare sector and lowest were in agriculture based field.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends from 1960 to 2020. You successfully identified the main features, such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the task requires reporting on the 'number of jobs,' but you occasionally refer to 'proportion' and 'ratio,' which are technically different concepts in data analysis. While you highlight the key peaks and end-points, the comparison between sectors could be more nuanced. Overall, the response is well-focused and addresses the prompt effectively, though precision in terminology would elevate the score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a summary. The progression of ideas is easy to follow, moving from an overview to specific sector comparisons. You use cohesive devices such as 'meanwhile,' 'probing further,' and 'overall' to link your points. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the paragraphing could be improved by grouping the sectors more strategically (e.g., those that grew vs. those that declined) rather than just listing them. The referencing is generally clear, and the structure supports the reader's understanding of the data.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the trends, using terms like 'soared rapidly,' 'declined,' and 'steady.' There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'fields of the market' (sectors of the economy) and 'calibrated' (measured). Additionally, 'agriculture based field' is slightly awkward phrasing. While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, the precision is occasionally lacking. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations related to data description and avoiding repetitive phrasing like 'number of jobs.'

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'while employment in agriculture went down moderately reaching to 2 million.' There are some grammatical slips, such as 'the utmost number of jobs were' (should be 'was') and 'reaching to 2 million' (the preposition 'to' is unnecessary here). Punctuation is generally functional, though some sentences are slightly run-on. The majority of your sentences are clear and error-free, and the errors present do not impede communication. Increasing the variety of complex structures would further improve your score.

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