Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart illustrates regarding the count of jobs in four different domains which is directly correlated to the economy in the US from1960 and 2020. Aditionally, the fields included manufacturing, retail, agriculture and health care.
Overall, the chart features four somains of the ecomony but the two are the most significant legends. The first one is Manufacturing and the other one is Healthcare as it shows the clear steadiness to rapid downfall over the years.
In 1960, the Manufacturing division were on the peak around 15 Millions job oppourtunities were available and after two decade it jumped from 15 millions to 20 millions. Furthermore, In 2020 it portrays a sudden change and the jobs count goes down to around 13 Millions respectively. On the other hand, Retails sector on at the downfall in 1960 the count of employement were around 6 Millions, Moreover, in 2020 it climbed to almost 16 millions which is a rapid change.
Healthcare is the most notable sector for employement. At first it was above the 2 millions but over the decades in 2020 it jumped and reached to the 15.5 millions. Agriculture accounted as the least impotant profession in the US between 1960 and 2000 there were no major change
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a general overview, though the overview is slightly confusing in its phrasing. You successfully identify key trends, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in manufacturing. However, the data reporting is inconsistent; for example, you mention manufacturing peaked at 15 million, then jumped to 20 million, but the graph shows a different trajectory. Additionally, the description of agriculture is incomplete as you do not mention its final status in 2020. To improve, ensure your data points are accurate and provide a more precise summary of the main trends without including personal commentary on the 'importance' of professions.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For instance, 'Aditionally' is misspelled, and the transition 'Moreover' is used in a way that does not always logically connect the sentences. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the second paragraph where you refer to 'the two are the most significant legends' without clearly defining them. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help the flow of your ideas significantly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'somains', 'ecomony', 'oppourtunities', 'impotant') and some awkward word choices. You rely on basic descriptors like 'sudden change' or 'rapid downfall'. To reach a higher band, you should aim for more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant surge'. Additionally, ensure you proofread for basic spelling mistakes, as these detract from the professional tone required for an Academic Task 1 response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('the Manufacturing division were', 'Retails sector on at the downfall') and incorrect article usage. While you attempt some complex sentence structures, they are often marred by errors that occasionally impede clarity. You should focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that prepositions are used correctly. Reducing the frequency of these errors will allow your ideas to be communicated more effectively.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.