Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line chart demonstrates the data about the amount of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US economy system from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, There was a steady growth in number of jobs in the department of healthcare and retailing. While, the sectors of agriculture and manufacturing saw a decline.
Manufacturing sector reached the highest amount of jobs, 20 million in 1980, and then was continuous decline. The number of job opportunities in the retail department increased from just above 5 million in 1960, and reaching 15 million in 2000. Healthcare department showed a slow growth from around 2 million to 5 million in 1980 whilst agriculture started at just above 5 million and demonstrated a slow decline to around 3.5 million in 1980.
The number of jobs in healthcare sector experienced a sharp increase from 1980 before finishing at the same level with the retail sector, at just above 15 million in 2020, whilst the amount of jobs in the agriculture sector levelled off after 1980.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and retail versus the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. The overview is clear and highlights the key features successfully. However, the data reporting is slightly inconsistent; for instance, the description of the manufacturing sector mentions a peak in 1980, but the graph shows the peak occurred earlier, around 1970. Additionally, some data points are slightly imprecise. To reach a higher band, ensure that all figures are accurately extracted from the graph and that the comparison between sectors is more consistently maintained throughout the body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally easy to follow. Cohesive devices such as 'while', 'whilst', and 'then' are used to link information. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are minor issues with paragraph structure, such as the abrupt transition between the overview and the specific data points. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the flow and coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with terms like 'steady growth', 'sharp increase', and 'levelled off' used appropriately. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'amount of jobs' (should be 'number of jobs') and 'US economy system' (which is slightly unnatural). The range of vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, but it lacks the sophistication and precision required for a higher band. Focusing on more precise collocations related to data trends would be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('in number of jobs', 'in healthcare sector') and awkward phrasing ('finishing at the same level with the retail sector'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. The punctuation is generally acceptable, but the sentence structure could be more varied to demonstrate better control. Focusing on article usage and subject-verb agreement will help improve the overall accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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