Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The chart inform us about the digits of the employment in four sections of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020
Over all, Jobs have been provided in million over the years, Manufacturing has been good in the early year, how ever the least has been Agriculture.
In 1960, over 15 millions jobs were given and the graph goes up in 1980 to exactly 20 million, how ever it went down in 2000 and it continue falling down in 2020, but on the other hand heath care and Manufacturing job went up in. Heath care jobs were almost 3 million in 1960, in 1980 it was 5 million so far that 2020 more then 15 millon job and same numbers of jobs are also available in retails
In Agriculture, almost 5 to 6 millon jobs were available but it fall over the period of time, in 2020 hardly 3 million jobs are in 2020 economy
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to summarise the main features of the graph, but it lacks precision and clarity. While you identify the four sectors, the description of the data is often inaccurate or confusing. For example, you state that manufacturing went up, but the graph shows it peaking and then declining. Furthermore, the data points mentioned (e.g., '15 million jobs' in 1960) do not align clearly with the visual information provided. To improve, you must ensure that your data reporting is accurate and that you provide a clear overview of the trends rather than just listing numbers. The lack of a clear, accurate summary of the overall trends prevents this from reaching a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression of ideas is weak. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as the repetitive use of 'how ever' and 'in'. The transition between sentences is frequently abrupt, making the text feel like a list of observations rather than a cohesive report. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'meanwhile', 'subsequently', 'in contrast') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus, such as grouping sectors by their upward or downward trends.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often imprecise. You use 'digits' when referring to the number of jobs, which is incorrect in this context. There are also frequent spelling errors, such as 'heath care' (healthcare), 'millon' (million), and 'retails' (retail). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to describe trends effectively; for instance, you rely on simple phrases like 'went up' or 'falling down'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more academic vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'experienced a steady decline', or 'surpassed'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The chart inform us'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, such as 'Heath care jobs were almost 3 million in 1960, in 1980 it was 5 million so far that 2020 more then 15 millon job'. The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like verb tense consistency and pluralisation.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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