Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given line graph compares employment figures in four sectors(manufacturing, retail,agriculture and healthcare) of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.
Throughout the period, retail and healthcare sectors saw a dramatic increase, whereas job count in manufacturing and agriculture went down.
Healthcare had the least number employees in the year 1960, with around 2.4 million jobs and reached half a million in 1980 before exceeding the healthcare profession.Then, the number of positions in this sector increased substantially, reaching its highest point just over 15 million in 2020 matching the count for retail sector. In the year 1960, agriculture and retail industry had equal number of job opportunities, noted as just over million, however the retail sector rose significantly reaching at 15 million in the year 2000 and increased minimally a little over its peak point.
In contrast , agriculture sector noticed a downward trend and declined to nearly 2.5 million in 1980 and plateaued from 1980 to 2000 at the same figure before reaching to its lowest point in 2020. Manufacturing rose dramatically from 15 million positions in 1960 to 20 million in 1980, before declining dramatically, to just over 10 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends over the 60-year period. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, the claim that healthcare 'reached half a million in 1980 before exceeding the healthcare profession' is confusing and factually incorrect based on the provided graph. Additionally, the statement that the retail sector reached 15 million in 2000 and 'increased minimally a little over its peak point' is vague. While the overview is present, the lack of precision in describing the data points and the confusing narrative regarding the healthcare sector prevent a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'Throughout the period', 'In contrast', and 'before declining'. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and confusing transitions, such as the sentence starting with 'Then, the number of positions...'. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between sectors. Paragraphing is used, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be more refined to ensure a smoother progression of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, using terms like 'dramatic increase', 'downward trend', and 'plateaued'. There are, however, some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'least number employees' (should be 'lowest number of employees') and 'noted as just over million' (missing article). The range is sufficient to convey the main points, but the lack of precision in describing the data trends limits the score. The student attempts to use some topic-specific vocabulary, but the execution is inconsistent.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, including missing articles ('the retail sector', 'the agriculture sector'), incorrect preposition usage ('reaching at 15 million'), and awkward sentence construction ('reached half a million in 1980 before exceeding the healthcare profession'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall clarity of the report. A greater focus on subject-verb agreement and correct article usage would improve the accuracy of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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