Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph represents the data related to various jobs in the four categories such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the United states economy from 1960 to 2020. Units are measured in millions.

Overall, the manufacturing has the maximum jobs and the least jobs were seen in the agriculture sector. Whereas the retail and healthcare have seen an increase of vacancy over the period of time.

The manufacturing sector went up from 15 million in the year 1960 to 20 million jobs in 1980 but then decreased to around 13 million jobs in the year 2020. However, retail and healthcare jobs were initially 5million and less than 2 million respectively which grow up to 16 million in the final year. Furthermore, agriculture had contributed around 6 million in employment in the beginning which dropped to approximately 4 million in 1980 and remained stable the nex2 20 year and then hit a low of 3 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, the statement that manufacturing had the 'maximum jobs' is inaccurate for the entire period, as retail and healthcare eventually surpass it. The data reporting is generally accurate, but the comparison between sectors could be more sophisticated. To reach a higher band, ensure that the overview highlights the most significant shifts—such as the decline in manufacturing versus the steady growth in service-based sectors—rather than just listing individual data points. The summary is functional but lacks a deeper synthesis of the trends.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and a body paragraph. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'However', 'Furthermore', and 'Whereas', which help guide the reader. However, the progression of ideas is slightly mechanical. The transition between the overview and the body paragraph could be smoother, and some sentences feel disjointed. The referencing is generally clear, but the structure of the final paragraph is a bit cluttered, making it harder to follow the specific trends for each sector. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, using terms like 'economy', 'sector', 'employment', and 'stable'. There are some inaccuracies, such as 'increase of vacancy' (which is not the standard collocation for job numbers) and 'grow up to' (which should be 'grew to'). The range is sufficient to convey the main points, but it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. Using more specific academic vocabulary related to trends—such as 'fluctuated', 'surpassed', or 'downward trend'—would significantly improve the quality of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'the manufacturing has' (should be 'manufacturing had'), 'the nex2 20 year' (typo and pluralization error), and 'which grow up to' (tense inconsistency). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the message, they are frequent enough to impact the overall fluency. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage when describing historical data. The punctuation is generally acceptable, but the sentence structure could be more varied to demonstrate better control.

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