Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the employments in manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare sectors between a period of 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is evident that initially manufacturing sector offer plenty of jobs before experiencing a fall. This figure for retail and agriculture sectors experienced a huge rise. However healthcare figure considerably declined.
In 1960, the figure for manufacturing empolyment stood at 15 millions recorded the highest figure that rose to 20 millions before experiencing a decline. Initially retail and agriculture sectors offers few jobs around 6 million and 3 million respectively, both sector's figure rose and reach to identical figure 15 million in 2020.
In contrast, healthcare offers approximately 6 million recruitments in the beginning period that experienced a slight fall nearly 1 million in the final year.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. While you have identified the main trends, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, you mention a decline in the healthcare sector, but the data provided in the prompt actually shows an upward trend for healthcare, indicating a misinterpretation of the graph. Furthermore, the overview is brief and lacks sufficient detail to fully satisfy the requirements of an Academic Task 1 response. To improve, ensure you carefully observe the data trends and provide a more comprehensive summary that covers all sectors with accurate comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive feature. However, the logical progression is hindered by the limited length and some awkward transitions. While you use basic cohesive devices like 'In contrast' and 'Overall', the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the second paragraph where the connection between the manufacturing decline and the other sectors could be more explicitly linked. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus that contributes to the overall argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. You rely on basic terms such as 'rise', 'fall', and 'figure'. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'employments' (which should be 'employment' or 'number of jobs') and 'recruitments' (which is not the most natural term in this context). To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to data trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'surpassed', or 'a significant upward trajectory', and ensure you use nouns and verbs in their correct forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues like 'manufacturing sector offer' (should be 'offers') and 'retail and agriculture sectors offers' (should be 'offer'). Additionally, there are tense inconsistencies, such as 'reach to identical figure', which should be 'reached an identical figure'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring consistent use of past tense when describing historical data.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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