Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The figure illustrates about the number of jobs in four different categories of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, number of jobs in retail is increasing year by year. Although jobs in agriculture is decreasing year by year.

However, jobs in retail is increasing year by year. In 1960, there was about 6 million employees in retail and now in 2020 it reaches up to 16 million employees. After retail, jobs in healthcare are also increasing year by year. In 1960, there was 2 million employees in healthcare. Although now it reached about 16 million.

In 1960, there was 15 million jobs in manufacturing and in 1980 it reaches up to 20 million but after that. Jobs in manufacturing started decreasing and now in 2020 there are 13 million jobs for manufacturing. In 1960, there was only 6 million jobs in agriculture but number of jobs in agriculture started decreasing year by year and now there are only 2 million jobs for agriculture.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides data points for 1960 and 2020. However, the overview is weak and repetitive, failing to highlight the most significant trends effectively. The description of the manufacturing sector is slightly inaccurate regarding the timeline, and the overall analysis lacks a clear comparison between the sectors. While the main features are identified, the lack of synthesis and the repetitive structure prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on grouping trends (e.g., sectors that grew vs. those that declined) rather than listing each sector individually.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hampered by repetitive phrasing such as 'increasing year by year' and 'in 1960, there was'. Cohesive devices are limited and often used mechanically. For instance, the transition 'However' is used incorrectly at the start of the second paragraph, as it does not contrast with the previous sentence. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the progression of ideas feels disjointed. Improving the use of linking words and varying sentence structures would significantly enhance the coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is functional but very limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'number of jobs' and 'increasing year by year' are used repeatedly, which restricts the range of expression. There is little attempt to use less common lexical items or synonyms to describe trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'declined steadily'). While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of variety in word choice prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Incorporating more precise terminology related to data description would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'jobs in agriculture is decreasing', 'there was 2 million employees'). Punctuation is also problematic, such as the sentence fragment 'but after that.' which disrupts the flow. While the errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and attempting more complex sentence structures, such as using relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions.

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