Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph demonstrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy, includes manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors. In mid nintees, there were about 2 million to 5 million jobs in the ratail, agriculture and healthcare departments. At that time the highest job opportunities were in the manufacturing sector. With the years pass down, the healthcare and manufacturing jobs rate reduced. On contrast, in reatil and agriculture employment rate improves with passage of time.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement. Because the response is only 77 words long, it is severely under-developed. It fails to provide a comprehensive overview or report on the main features of the graph in sufficient detail. While it attempts to identify some trends, the analysis is superficial and lacks the necessary data points and comparisons required for an Academic Task 1 response. To improve, you must provide a more detailed summary that covers the entire period and includes specific data points to support your observations.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is too short to demonstrate effective paragraphing or a logical progression of ideas. While there is a basic attempt to structure the information, the lack of length prevents the development of a coherent argument or a clear overview. Cohesive devices are minimal and somewhat mechanical (e.g., 'On contrast'). To achieve a higher band, you need to organize your response into clear paragraphs—an introduction, an overview, and detailed body paragraphs—using a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and contains several spelling errors, such as 'nintees' (nineties) and 'ratail' (retail). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to describe trends accurately; for instance, 'reduced' and 'improves' are used in a very basic way. To improve, you should aim to use more precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'declined steadily,' or 'experienced a significant surge.' Expanding your range of topic-specific vocabulary related to economic sectors and data description will help you achieve a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains several grammatical errors that hinder clarity, such as 'includes manufacturing...' instead of 'including manufacturing,' and 'With the years pass down,' which is an unnatural phrasing. The sentence structures are predominantly simple, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. To improve, focus on using a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences with subordinate clauses. Additionally, pay closer attention to verb tenses and prepositions to ensure your writing is grammatically accurate and flows more naturally.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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