Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates the changes in employment figures across four economic sectors in the United States: Manufacturing, Retail, Healthcare, and Agriculture from 1960 to 2020, measured in millions of jobs.
Overall, Healthcare and Retail experienced consistent upward trajectories throughout the 60-year period, with Healthcare exhibiting the most dramatic rise. Conversely, Manufacturing saw initial growth before experiencing a steady decline, while Agriculture remained the smallest employer with a slight downward drift.
In 1960, Manufacturing was by far the largest provider of jobs at 15 million, peaking at 20 million in 1980. However, this sector subsequently contracted, dropping to 17 million in 2000 and eventually falling to 13 million by 2020. In contrast, Retail started at 6 million in 1960 and climbed steadily over the decades, overtaking Manufacturing around 2015 to reach 16 million by the end of the timeframe.
Healthcare began as the smallest sector in 1960 alongside Agriculture, offering only 2 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends and selects relevant data points to support the description. You successfully identified the key trajectories for all four sectors, such as the dramatic rise in Healthcare and the decline in Manufacturing. However, the response is incomplete as it cuts off abruptly while describing the Healthcare sector. Because the final paragraph is unfinished, the task is not fully addressed, and the comparison of the final data points for all sectors is missing. To reach a higher band, ensure you complete the analysis of all categories mentioned in the introduction and provide a comprehensive summary of the final state of the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices effectively, such as 'Conversely', 'However', and 'In contrast', to signal shifts in the data. The progression of ideas is logical, moving from general trends to specific data points. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the overview from the detailed analysis. The main issue is the abrupt ending, which disrupts the flow and coherence of the final section. If the text had been completed, the cohesion would be considered quite strong.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary suitable for describing trends, such as 'upward trajectories', 'contracted', and 'downward drift'. The use of these terms is precise and adds variety to the report. There are no significant spelling errors, and the word choice is generally natural and appropriate for an academic task. To improve, you could incorporate more sophisticated collocations or varied ways to describe the magnitude of change, such as 'a marginal increase' or 'a sharp contraction', to further enhance the lexical sophistication of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
The response displays a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures. You use subordinate clauses effectively, for example, 'while Agriculture remained the smallest employer with a slight downward drift'. Grammatical control is generally strong, with accurate use of tenses and prepositions. There are no major errors that impede communication. To aim for a higher band, try to incorporate a wider variety of complex structures, such as passive voice constructions or more varied participial phrases, to demonstrate greater flexibility in your grammatical range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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