Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The chart illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, Jobs in retail and healthcare increased sharply during the period while jobs in manufacturing and agriculture declined.
To begin with, Retail sector jobs grew steadily from 6 million to 16 million by the year 2020, most of it growth can be seen from 1960 to 2000, that is 6 million to 15 million and after that growth can be seen minimal comparing with the previous years. Health care jobs grew the most from 1960, that is around 2.5 million jobs to 16 million by the year 2020. The growth is continuing to be in a steady manner.
Furthermore, Manufacturing jobs were the highest in the year 1960 with 15 million jobs which has now come down to around 13 million by the year 2020. We can see it has increased the jobs to 20 million in 1980 but it has then started declining. Whereas Agriculture sector have the least amount of jobs comparing with the others. Even though it was around 6 million in 1960 but by the year 2020 it has declined to around 2.5 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends (increases in retail/healthcare, decreases in manufacturing/agriculture). The overview is clear and highlights the key shifts. However, the analysis of the data is slightly inconsistent; for instance, the description of manufacturing is a bit confusing, stating it was 15 million in 1960 and then mentioning a peak of 20 million in 1980 without clearly linking the overall trend. The data points are generally accurate, but the report could be improved by grouping the sectors more effectively to highlight the contrast between the service-oriented growth and the industrial decline.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'Whereas' helps the flow of information. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'most of it growth can be seen', where the pronoun reference is imprecise. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and the progression of ideas is generally easy to follow, though the internal structure of the second body paragraph could be more cohesive to better contrast the manufacturing and agriculture trends.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends using terms like 'increased sharply', 'grew steadily', and 'declined'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'growth can be seen minimal' instead of 'growth was minimal' and 'the growth is continuing to be in a steady manner', which is slightly wordy and unnatural. While the range is sufficient to convey the main features, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for a higher band score. The use of 'it' as a dummy subject is occasionally repetitive.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical slips, such as 'most of it growth' (should be 'most of its growth'), 'Agriculture sector have' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'comparing with the others' (should be 'compared to'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some run-on sentences and comma splices that affect the clarity of the writing. While the errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. A greater variety of complex structures with higher accuracy would improve the grade.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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