Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph illustrates the information about the number of the jobs in the four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. The job economy of the manufacturing sector grew initially but face significantly decline after this the economy of the retail sector increased from the 5 millions to 16 millions. the third sector is the agricultural sector and it faced significant decline from 6 millions to 3 millions and stayed stable till 2020. The last sector is the healthcare sector which increased from 3 millions in 1960 and approach to the 16 millions in 2020. The healthcare sector is only one the sector that does not face any kind of the decline it just faced a significant growth from 1970 to 2020 and people got most number of jobs in the healthcare sector. The retail sector also faced a significant growth and does not face any kind of the decline in all years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the four sectors mentioned in the graph, but the analysis is superficial. While you identify the main trends, the lack of an overview paragraph makes it difficult to grasp the 'big picture' of the data. The description of the manufacturing sector is vague ('face significantly decline'), and the report lacks precise data points for the start and end of the period in some instances. To improve, ensure you include a clear overview that highlights the most significant trends, such as the dominance of the healthcare sector by 2020, and ensure all data points are accurately referenced.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is written as a single block of text, which significantly impacts the coherence. IELTS Academic Task 1 requires clear paragraphing, typically separating the introduction/overview from the body paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and repetitive, with phrases like 'the third sector is' and 'the last sector is' used to list information rather than link ideas logically. To improve, use a variety of linking words (e.g., 'In contrast', 'Furthermore', 'Meanwhile') and organize your response into at least two distinct body paragraphs to group related trends.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic phrases such as 'significant growth' and 'significant decline' without variation. There are also errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'face significantly decline' (should be 'faced a significant decline') and 'approach to the 16 millions' (should be 'reached 16 million'). The use of 'the' before plural numbers is also incorrect. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise verbs and nouns related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained constant', or 'a marginal increase'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede the flow of information. Issues include incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'face significantly decline' instead of 'faced a significant decline'), missing articles or unnecessary use of 'the' (e.g., 'the 5 millions'), and subject-verb agreement errors. The sentence structures are mostly simple, with limited attempts at complex sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic tense consistency and article usage. Additionally, try to combine simple sentences using relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical control.
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