Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given polyline graph illustrates comparative information about the number of jobs in four sector of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020 and the whole data is measured in millions.
As observed, the numbers of jobs in the retail and healthcare sector showed upward trend with minor fluctuations, while the inverse had been true in the case of manufacturing and agriculture.
As per the data, In 1960, the number of jobs in healthcare sector was 2.5 million which was the lowest over the given period but after a few time it showed a growth of 13.5 million and reached at 16 million in 2020. In 1960, the number of jobs in retail sector was 6 million and it showed a significant growth of 10 million and reached at 16 million in 2020. But the number of jobs in manufacturing sector was 15 million in 1960 and showed a growth of 5 million in next 3 decades and reached at 20 million but after that it showed a drop of 7.5 million and reached at 12.5 million in 2020. Also the number of jobs in agriculture sector was 6 million in 1960 and showed a drop of 3.5 million over the given period a
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You successfully identified the main features, such as the upward trend in healthcare and retail versus the decline in agriculture. However, the response is incomplete as it ends abruptly mid-sentence ('a'). Additionally, while you mention the starting and ending points, the analysis of the manufacturing sector is slightly confusing in its phrasing regarding the '3 decades' growth. To reach a higher band, ensure all sentences are completed and provide a more cohesive summary of the comparative data rather than just listing individual figures.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. You use some cohesive devices like 'As observed' and 'In 1960', which provide a logical structure. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat mechanical, and the abrupt ending of the text significantly impacts the overall coherence. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words to connect the trends between the sectors, rather than just starting each sentence with a time reference. Ensure that your paragraphs are balanced and that the conclusion is fully articulated.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upward trend', 'fluctuations', and 'significant growth'. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'after a few time' (should be 'after some time') and 'the inverse had been true' (which is slightly awkward in this context). The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. Try to incorporate more varied reporting verbs and adjectives to describe the scale of change more naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'four sector' (should be plural 'sectors'), 'the healthcare sector' (missing 'the' in some instances), and 'reached at' (the preposition 'at' is unnecessary with 'reached'). There are also issues with article usage and tense consistency. The abrupt ending also leaves a sentence grammatically incomplete. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions with verbs of movement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.