Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
the graph show that the number of jobs economy us between [redacted phone]. the number of jobs are of 4 types is - manufacturing , retail , agriculture , healthcare . which carry there own different sign and which locate them easily in graph.
Overall, it can be clearly seen that the agriculture sector followed a declining trend, whereas healthcare and retail sector both showed a similar inclining trend. However, manufacturing after a sharp surge in 1980 started decreasing gradually.
The graph show that the manufacturing job was more up to 20 since the year 1980 after that the graph get down till 2020 and the another side i see that the graph of agriculture are down from 10 and the lowest job form in all off these and it has no much change till 2020 and the success and growth job is retail which grow very much from 5 to 15 till the since 2020.
Further describing the line graph, healthcare is start from zero and grow up to 15 from 0 and the healthcare may more grow in todays graph.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in agriculture and the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and lacks precision. For example, the description of manufacturing as 'more up to 20' is vague and does not accurately reflect the data points on the graph. Furthermore, the report lacks a clear summary of the overall trends in the introduction, and some of the data interpretation is confusing, such as the claim that healthcare started at zero when the graph shows otherwise. To improve, focus on providing more accurate data points and clearer comparisons between the sectors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inaccurate, such as the phrase 'the another side i see that'. The progression of ideas is occasionally disjointed, particularly in the third paragraph where multiple trends are grouped together in a way that makes it difficult to follow the comparison. To improve, use a wider range of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus, such as grouping sectors by their overall trend (e.g., those that increased versus those that decreased).
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'graph', 'show', 'grow', and 'down'. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'carry there own different sign' and 'the healthcare may more grow in todays graph'. These errors occasionally impede the flow of the text. To achieve a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'significant increase', and ensure correct spelling and word forms are used throughout.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that affect readability. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the graph show', 'the number of jobs are'), incorrect verb tenses, and missing articles. Sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors, such as 'which carry there own different sign and which locate them easily in graph'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas and periods. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly improve the clarity of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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