Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph compares the changing numbers of workers employed in manufacturing retail agriculture and health care in the united state over a sixty period of eyer which are from 1969 to 2020.

overall, the job market for retail and health care to grow constantly throughout the period with healthcare showing most of significant rise.

However, the number of jobs in manufacturing declined after reaching at there peak. while agriculture is providing less jobs.

In 1960 manufacturing was the dominant sector, accounting foe 15 million jobs. this figure was increased and reached at 20 million before steadily decline to 12.5 million by 2020. In contrast, retail sector started at 6 million jobs and get increase drastically and reached at 15 million in four decades but not stopper it reaches at 16 million in last. The health care started from zero jobs but got increase rapidly as it reaches near 16 million in 2020 and agriculture started from 5 mid never go iup it never go up it reman under 5 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in manufacturing. However, the overview is slightly underdeveloped and contains inaccuracies regarding the data (e.g., stating healthcare started at zero when the graph shows a value). The reporting of figures is generally accurate, but the analysis lacks a clear comparison between sectors in the final paragraph. To reach a higher band, ensure that the overview captures the most significant trends more precisely and avoid minor data misinterpretations.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In contrast' and 'However', but they are sometimes used mechanically or with grammatical errors (e.g., 'while agriculture is providing less jobs'). The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the referencing is occasionally clunky, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. Paragraphing is present, but the structure within the paragraphs could be more refined to better group the data points.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks sophistication. There are several instances of awkward phrasing or incorrect word choices, such as 'sixty period of eyer' (sixty-year period), 'most of significant rise', and 'never go iup'. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of precision and the repetitive nature of the vocabulary limit the score. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations for describing trends, such as 'experienced a substantial increase' rather than 'get increase drastically'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('this figure was increased'), tense inconsistencies ('it reaches near 16 million'), and awkward sentence construction ('never go iup it never go up'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas and capitalization errors. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to detract from the overall quality of the writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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