Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart provides the information about the required jobs in four major sectors in US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, it clearly stands out from the line graph that in the initial year manufacturing industry involves the majority of jobs . Meanwhile, the least number of jobs were in healthcare center .
To initiate with, in 1960 the jobs in manufacturing ranged the highest of 15 million which increased to 20 million in the following year and subsequently dropped in the final year. Moreover, the jobs in healthcare constitutes of minimum jobs among all in first year which surged to 15 million in the year 2020 same as the retail .
Probing ahead, the number of jobs in agriculture and retail were equal to about 5 million. the retail sector experienced incline and reached 15 million of jobs in the final year. Lastly, in the agriculture sector the amount of jobs decreased over the period of time .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a general overview of the trends, but it lacks precision in reporting data. For instance, stating that manufacturing 'dropped in the final year' is vague when the graph shows a clear downward trend over several decades. The description of the healthcare sector is also slightly inaccurate, as the graph shows it starting at a low point rather than being the 'minimum' in the first year compared to all others. While the main features are identified, the lack of specific data points for the start and end of the periods for all categories limits the development of the response. To improve, ensure that key figures are accurately extracted and compared across the entire timeframe provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. Cohesive devices such as 'To initiate with', 'Moreover', and 'Probing ahead' are used to link ideas, although some of these transitions feel slightly mechanical or unnatural in an academic context. The progression of ideas is generally clear, moving from an overview to specific sector trends. However, the referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as the phrase 'same as the retail', which lacks a clear grammatical connection to the preceding clause. Improving the variety and naturalness of linking words would enhance the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to describe trends like 'increased', 'surged', and 'decreased'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'involves the majority of jobs' instead of 'accounted for the majority of jobs', and 'healthcare center' instead of 'healthcare sector'. The phrase 'ranged the highest of 15 million' is also non-standard. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on using more precise terminology related to data description and ensuring that collocations are natural and accurate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('healthcare constitutes of minimum jobs'), incorrect article usage ('in the initial year manufacturing industry'), and punctuation errors, such as placing a space before a full stop. While the meaning is generally understandable, these recurring errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevent the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage would be highly beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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