Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The line graph presents about the jobs in four sector prescribed the economy in the us in between 1960- 2020.

Overall,it clearly stands out of the graph that the number of jobs the economy in the us.

To start with, 1960 in the manufacturing increase amount the 15 then

above 20 in the 1990. slowly change amount in the 2000 to 2020 down jobs. Retal dicrease the jobs amount [redacted phone] more above the raise in number of jobs 2000 more the amount 15 Slow change in amount in the 13 in 2020.

To brief with, the next two sectors [redacted phone] fluting the amount then last year highest amount agriculture raise then 15 and health care down the amount of year 2020 in 0.2 above 1960 less last year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. Furthermore, the content is largely unintelligible. While you attempt to identify the four sectors, the data points provided are inaccurate and lack clear comparisons. The overview is incomplete and fails to highlight the main trends or significant features of the graph. To improve, you must ensure you describe the data accurately, provide a clear summary of the overall trends, and meet the minimum length requirement. Currently, the response does not adequately address the task instructions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay lacks logical organization and progression. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the sentences within them do not follow a logical sequence. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link ideas, making the text difficult to follow. The transition between sentences is abrupt, and the lack of clear referencing makes it hard to understand which data points correspond to which sectors. To improve, focus on using transition words like 'however,' 'in contrast,' or 'subsequently' to connect your ideas and ensure each paragraph has a clear, central topic.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary is very limited and often misused. Phrases like 'fluting the amount' and 'slow change amount' are unclear and do not convey the intended meaning. There is a lack of appropriate terminology for describing graphs, such as 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' or 'experienced a decline.' The spelling and word choice errors are frequent and often impede the reader's understanding of the information presented. You should focus on learning specific collocations for describing trends and data, such as 'a significant increase' or 'a steady decline.'

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical control is weak, with frequent errors in sentence structure, verb tense, and word order. Many sentences are fragments or lack a clear subject-verb agreement, such as 'The line graph presents about the jobs in four sector prescribed the economy.' There is no evidence of complex sentence structures, and the basic sentences are often inaccurate. Punctuation is also inconsistent, which further hinders readability. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction (Subject + Verb + Object) before attempting more complex structures, and proofread your work to correct basic grammatical slips.

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