Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The provided line graph depicts the comparative analysis of how many vacancies of jobs available in in different sectors of economy in US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it clearly stands out from the line graph that while all other sectors increasing their vacancies in the initial years but there was a constant decline in numbers in the area of agriculture.
to commence with , manufacturing shared the highest number in the starting of the period and surging continuously till1980 but registered a sharp decrease after that to the end of the period. Interestingly, retail and agriculture had the equal number of jobs available in the starting.
Shifting the focus to the remaining details, the retail and healthcare areas showed almost similar increase from the starting year to the year 2000 and merged at the end of the given period .probing ahead agriculture registered a constant decline.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which negatively impacts the task achievement score. While the report identifies the main trends, such as the decline in agriculture and the rise in healthcare, the analysis is somewhat superficial. The overview is present but lacks sufficient detail to fully capture the complexity of the data provided. Several key features, such as the specific trends for the retail sector or the relative positions of the sectors at the end of the period, are under-developed. To improve, ensure you provide a more comprehensive summary of the data points and ensure the response length is sufficient to allow for a full development of the main features.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally awkward, such as 'to commence with' and 'probing ahead'. The progression of ideas is generally logical, but the connection between sentences could be smoother. For instance, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. Additionally, some referencing is unclear, such as the vague mention of 'the starting of the period' without specifying the year. Improving the variety and naturalness of linking words will help create a more cohesive flow throughout the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There are instances of repetitive phrasing, such as 'starting of the period' and 'number of jobs'. Some word choices are slightly unnatural, such as 'vacancies of jobs available' and 'merged at the end'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of sophisticated or varied vocabulary limits the score. To improve, focus on using more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and avoid repeating the same phrases throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Examples include 'in in different sectors', 'all other sectors increasing their vacancies' (missing auxiliary verb), and 'till1980' (spacing error). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and periods. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors indicates a lack of control over complex structures. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and ensuring proper punctuation and spacing throughout your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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