Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph presents gives the important information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us between 1960 and 2020,over a span 50 years.
Overall, it was clearly stands out from the graph that the manufacturing was increased,whereas agriculture was decreased during the period.
To commence with,in the line graph that the number of job agriculture and retal was increased in 1950 and 2020,whereas the healthcare was decreased in 1960 and 1990.In 1990 the healthcare was plateu in our condition.
In sharp contrast ,that the number of job in manufacturing was increased between1960 and 1990.In 1990 the number of manufacturing was decreased,whereas the number of job in retal and agriculture was increased .In 2020 that the agriculture and retal was fifteen millions jobs in the US .In 2020 the job of manufacturing was under fifteen millions. At last that the job of retal and manufacturing was higher than others
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response attempts to summarise the graph but fails to accurately report the data. There are significant factual errors, such as claiming agriculture decreased when the graph shows it remained relatively stable or fluctuated differently, and misinterpreting the timeline (e.g., mentioning 1950, which is not on the graph). The overview is vague and does not clearly highlight the main trends or significant shifts. Key features, such as the intersection points or the final figures for 2020, are either missing or incorrectly stated. The response lacks the analytical precision required for an Academic Task 1, as the data interpretation is inconsistent with the provided visual information.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is weak. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as 'To commence with' and 'At last', which do not fit the context of a data report. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of ideas. The sentences are often disjointed, and the lack of clear transitions between the description of different sectors hinders the overall coherence of the report. The structure feels repetitive rather than progressive.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. The student relies on basic terms like 'increased' and 'decreased' throughout the text. There are several spelling errors, such as 'retal' (retail) and 'plateu' (plateau), and incorrect word choices, such as 'in our condition'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to describe trends with precision. The student struggles to use appropriate terminology for describing data, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'peaked', which are essential for this type of task.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the manufacturing was increased'), incorrect article usage, and awkward sentence structures (e.g., 'it was clearly stands out'). The use of complex sentences is attempted but is consistently faulty, leading to confusion. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and periods. The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple, error-prone sentences that lack the flexibility required for higher band scores.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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