Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph presents the comparative analysis of the information about number of jobs in the economy of the four sectors between 1960 and 2020 in us
Overall ,it clearly stands out of the graph that all four sectors witnessed inconsistency in the number of jobs in economy of US.
In 1960 , the manufacturing sector leading at the highest number of jobs and healthcare are at the lowest in economy. while agriculture and retail are at the same percentage.
In 1990, all the sectors are fluctuating while in 2000,manufacturing sector are still at the highest then retail sector who are similar to the manufacturing sector while the healthcare sector remain at the lowest. In 2020,the healthcare and the retail sector increases and have the same number of jobs in the economy of US while agriculture decreases in the economy.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you identify some trends, the analysis is superficial and lacks the necessary detail to fully describe the data. You mention that sectors are 'fluctuating' in 1990, but you do not provide specific data points or meaningful comparisons between the four sectors. The overview is also quite vague. To improve, ensure you include specific figures from the graph and provide a more comprehensive summary of the trends over the entire 60-year period, rather than just listing isolated years.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into short paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is very limited and often repetitive (e.g., 'in the economy of US' is used multiple times). There is a lack of logical flow between sentences, making the text feel like a list of observations rather than a cohesive report. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words such as 'whereas', 'subsequently', 'in contrast', or 'meanwhile' to connect your ideas more fluidly and improve the overall structure of your response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite basic and repetitive. You frequently use the same phrases, such as 'number of jobs in the economy of US', which limits the range of your writing. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'manufacturing sector leading at the highest number of jobs'. To achieve a higher band, you should aim to use more precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'peaked', 'declined steadily', 'remained stable', or 'surpassed'. Expanding your range of synonyms will help you describe the data more accurately and professionally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'healthcare and the retail sector increases'), missing articles ('in us'), and awkward sentence structures. The range of grammatical structures is limited, relying mostly on simple sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement. Additionally, try to incorporate more complex sentence structures, such as using relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions, while ensuring that your punctuation and verb tenses remain consistent throughout the report.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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