Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph depicts the number of jobs in different sectors of economy in united states from1960 to 2020 over a span of 60 years
overall,it is clear that in manufacturing industry number of jobs decline over the period on the other hand retailing industry illustrate incline in number of jobs .
To commence with, manufacturing sector in united states decline over the period .It was 15 million during 1960 and reached around 13 million after 60 years . Jobs in healthcare sector also decrease gradually.It was around 5.5 million during 1960 reached less than 3 million at the end of 2020.
However, jobs in manufacturing and healthcare decline there was incline in retail and agriculture industry . Retail industry was around 5.3 million during 1960 reached at the pleatu of around 15 million during the year 2020 ,while jobs in agriculture industry in 1960 was around 2.5 million during 1960 crosses10 million during 2000. eventually reached around 15 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that the manufacturing sector declined from 15 million to 13 million, whereas the graph shows a much steeper decline. Furthermore, you incorrectly identify the healthcare sector as declining, while the graph shows it as a separate line that actually increases. The summary of the retail and agriculture sectors is also imprecise. To improve, ensure that you carefully read the axes and labels to accurately reflect the data provided, as misinterpreting the information significantly impacts the task achievement score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'To commence with', 'However', and 'overall', but these are sometimes used mechanically or incorrectly. For example, the transition 'However, jobs in manufacturing and healthcare decline there was incline in retail' is grammatically awkward and lacks a clear logical connector. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences is somewhat disjointed. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider range of linking words more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher score. You use basic terms like 'decline', 'incline', and 'increase' repeatedly. There are also some errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'pleatu' (plateau) and 'united states' (which should be capitalized). To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for trends, such as 'fluctuate', 'plummet', 'soar', or 'remain stable'. Additionally, ensure you use correct terminology for economic sectors and pay closer attention to spelling and capitalization to enhance the professional tone of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include missing articles (e.g., 'in manufacturing industry'), incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'manufacturing sector... decline' instead of 'declined'), and punctuation errors, such as missing spaces after commas and periods. These errors are noticeable and occasionally make the text harder to read. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, consistent use of past tense for historical data, and proper punctuation. Practising the use of complex sentences with correct relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions will also help improve your range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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