Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The given line graph illustrates the comparative analysis of the number of job in four sectors of the economy in the United

States from 1960 to 2020

Overall, it clearly stands out from the chart that manufacturing increased.,while agricultue was decreased during the period.

To commence with, in 1960, manufacturing jobs accounted at 15 milloins in us and in 1990 ,it inclined at 20 millions. Retail jobs find out at almost 5 million.After 40 years jobs in retail market surged dramatically and it inclined over the period and the jobs in retail sector surged at 50 million during the provide time.

Moreover, health care emploeements in 1960 accounted at above 5 millions.it reached at above 10 millions till 2000. However,after 20 years,the jobs increased rapidly. Furthermore,jobs in agriculture sector accounted at almost 5 millions. but it was decreased during the period almost at 2.5 millions . is was the lowest job provider.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the task by identifying the main trends, but the analysis is inconsistent. While you mention the four sectors, the data points provided are often inaccurate or unclear (e.g., stating manufacturing increased to 20 million when the graph shows a different trend). The overview is present but lacks precision. To improve, ensure you carefully extract data from the graph and group information logically rather than listing sectors individually. The summary of trends needs to be more accurate to reflect the actual data presented in the visual aid.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes misused, such as 'To commence with' and 'Moreover'. The progression of ideas is occasionally disjointed, particularly in the final paragraph where the transition between health care and agriculture is abrupt. Improving the flow between sentences using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic verbs like 'increased' and 'accounted'. There are several spelling errors, such as 'milloins', 'emploeements', and 'agricultue', which distract the reader. Furthermore, word choice is often imprecise, such as 'find out at' or 'provide time'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and pay closer attention to accurate spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include incorrect verb tenses ('was decreased'), subject-verb agreement ('jobs in retail market surged'), and punctuation errors, such as missing spaces after commas and periods. The sentence structures are mostly simple, with limited attempts at complex sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct tense usage for past events, and proofreading for punctuation and capitalization errors, which are currently quite frequent throughout the text.

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