Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph represents the data of number of jobs in the different sectors of the economy in the united states from 1960 to 2020 over a span of 60 years.
Overall, it clears stands out from the data that manufacturing industry cross all the other industries for a long period of time and the healthcare industry goes for downwards from the interval of time.
To commence with, manufacturing industry was crossing all other industries for a long period of time from 1960 and after 1980 the industry goes decreases while other industries retail and agriculture were very low in the starting and after 1980,, these industries goes increases for the next 40 years and cross the manufacturing industry in the 2020 .
On the other hand, the healthcare industry was around 5 million jobs in the 1960 but in the 1980 the industry goes more decreases and after that industry was decreased for the next 40 years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response provides an overview and attempts to report main features, but the analysis is inaccurate and lacks precision. For instance, you state the healthcare industry 'goes for downwards' and 'decreases', whereas the graph shows it as a relatively stable or slightly increasing sector. Furthermore, the description of the manufacturing industry is vague, and the claim that retail and agriculture 'cross the manufacturing industry in 2020' is not supported by the visual data provided. The response fails to accurately identify the key trends or provide specific data points to support the summary, which is essential for Task 1. To improve, focus on accurately reading the graph and using specific figures to illustrate the trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the progression of ideas is often confusing due to poor sentence structure and limited use of cohesive devices. While you use transition signals like 'To commence with' and 'On the other hand', they are not always used appropriately to link related ideas. The referencing is also unclear; for example, the phrase 'the industry goes more decreases' is repetitive and lacks a clear subject. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and use a wider variety of linking words to connect your sentences more logically.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, which restricts your ability to describe the trends precisely. You frequently use the word 'industry' and 'goes' (e.g., 'industry goes decreases'), which is not natural English collocation. There is a lack of academic vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'peaked', or 'declined'. To reach a higher band, you should learn and apply specific verbs and nouns used to describe graphs and charts. Avoid using informal or imprecise phrasing like 'goes for downwards' and instead use precise terminology like 'experienced a downward trend'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede communication. Issues include incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'manufacturing industry was crossing'), subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'these industries goes increases'), and awkward phrasing. The sentence structures are largely simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors. For example, 'it clears stands out from the data that...' contains a word order error. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct tense usage, and proofreading for common errors like missing articles or incorrect verb forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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