Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph presents the comparitive analysis of number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us .
Overall , retail , manufacturing was the highest doing jobs in us while as compare to agriculture and healthcare .
To commence with , in year 1960 the retail and agriculture percentage of jobs was the same in US is about 5 millions while the health care percentage jobs rate was only 3 millions and the manufacturing percentage rate was 15 millions . Moreover , in year 1980 the healthcare percentage and retail percentage was increased about 5 millions and 10 millions and the manufacturing rate was at its peaked that is 20 millions but , the agriculture rate took a dlip was about 4 millions .
Further more , in year 2000 the agriculture rate was unchanged as previous , or the retail and healthcare rate was increased from previous year that was 15 millions and 10 millions but the manufacturing rate took a dlip that was 16 millions .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to summarise the graph but fails to provide a clear overview of the main trends. The description of the data is often inaccurate, such as stating that manufacturing peaked in 1980 at 20 million when the graph shows a different trajectory. The report lacks a clear summary of the overall trends, and the data points cited are frequently incorrect or confusingly presented. To improve, you must ensure that the data extracted from the graph is precise and that you identify the most significant features, such as the long-term decline in agriculture versus the growth in healthcare, rather than simply listing figures for each year.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression is hindered by inaccurate data reporting and awkward phrasing. While some cohesive devices like 'To commence with' and 'Moreover' are used, they are sometimes applied mechanically. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly when comparing sectors. To improve, focus on using cohesive devices to link ideas more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus, such as grouping sectors by their growth or decline patterns rather than just moving chronologically through the years.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. There are several errors in word choice, such as 'highest doing jobs' and 'took a dlip' (likely meant 'dip'). The term 'percentage' is used incorrectly throughout, as the graph displays raw numbers of jobs in millions, not percentages. To reach a higher band, you need to use more precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant decline', and ensure you correctly identify the units of measurement provided in the prompt.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with article usage ('in year 1960'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Many sentences are simple or poorly constructed, such as 'the retail and agriculture percentage of jobs was the same in US is about 5 millions'. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and punctuation is inconsistent. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that articles are used correctly before nouns.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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