Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
the given graph provide information about number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in us in between 1960 and 2020
overall, the given information from the graph states that manufacturing jobs are higest at a point of time whereas, agriculture jobs face an decrecing trend throughtout time
to commence with, in 1960 manufacturing jobs holds around 15 million jobs in market but by the 1980 ,jobs hits 20 million number in manufactring sector after that there is a clear decrecing tend in manufacturing jobs, on the other hand retail jobs show an increasing trend from the start of the time in 1960, retail jobs hold around 5 million jobs but after that there is an visible increasing trend by the end of 2020, retail hold around 16 million jobs.
further more, agriculture jobs faces an downfall from the start of the time from1960 there is around 6 million jobs at that time in agriculture but throughout the time and by the end of 2020 there is only 2 million jobs left. on the other hand healthcare follows an rise trend from the start in 1960 there is only 2 million jobs but by the year 2020 there is 16 million jobs has been created.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the decline in agriculture and the rise in healthcare and retail. However, the overview is somewhat weak and lacks precision. While you mention manufacturing was 'highest at a point of time', it would be more effective to highlight the overall shift in the US economy from manufacturing to service-based sectors. The data points are generally accurate, but the analysis could be more sophisticated by grouping the sectors (e.g., those that grew versus those that declined) to provide a clearer summary of the main features.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. You use some cohesive devices like 'to commence with', 'further more', and 'on the other hand'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly repetitive. The transition between sentences could be smoother, and the referencing is occasionally unclear. For example, the phrase 'at a point of time' is vague. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would enhance the overall flow and logical progression of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You frequently use basic terms like 'jobs', 'number', and 'trend'. There are also several spelling errors, such as 'higest', 'decrecing', and 'throughtout', which detract from the professional tone required for an Academic Task 1 response. To improve, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'plummeted', or 'surged'. Additionally, ensure you use correct word forms, as 'an decrecing trend' should be 'a decreasing trend'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include missing articles ('in us', 'in market'), incorrect verb forms ('jobs holds', 'jobs faces'), and punctuation errors. Some sentences are run-on or lack proper subject-verb agreement. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. To reach a higher band, focus on consistent verb tense usage (past tense for the period 1960–2020) and ensure that articles and plurals are used correctly.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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