Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given polyline graph illustrates the comparative information about the number of jobs in four sectors of economy in US from 1996 to 2020 and the whole data is measured in million.
as observed, In 1960, the number of jibs in sector of the retail and healthcare showed upward trend, while the inverse had been true with the manufacturing and agriculture.
As per the data, In 1960, the number of jobs in the retail sector was 6 million and after that it showed a growth of 10 million and reached at 16 million in 2020. Also the number of jobs in the healthcare sector was 2.5 million in 1960 and it showed a significant growth of 13.5 million between 1960 and 2020. In 1960, the number of jobs in manufacturing sector was 15 million and after that it showed a growth of 5 million in the next three decades and reached at 20 million and after that it decrease by 7.5 million and reached at 12.5 million in 2020. In 1960, the number of jobs in the agriculture sector was 6 million and after that it showed a serious drop of 3.5 million and reached at 2.5 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides data for the start and end points. However, the overview is weak; it lacks a clear summary of the overall trends (e.g., the shift from manufacturing/agriculture to service-based sectors). The analysis is largely a list of figures rather than a synthesis of the main features. The dates in the introduction are incorrect (1996 instead of 1960), and the description of trends is sometimes inaccurate, such as stating manufacturing reached 20 million in the 'next three decades' when the graph shows a peak earlier. To improve, focus on grouping trends and highlighting significant changes rather than listing every data point.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by repetitive sentence structures. Each sentence follows a similar pattern ('In 1960, the number of jobs...'), which makes the writing feel mechanical. Cohesive devices are limited and sometimes misused, such as 'the inverse had been true with the manufacturing and agriculture,' which is grammatically awkward and lacks clarity. Paragraphing is present, but the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. Using a wider variety of linking words and referencing techniques would improve the flow and coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'polyline graph' (line graph is standard) and 'serious drop' (a 'significant' or 'sharp' decline would be more appropriate). The word 'jibs' is a clear typo for 'jobs'. The range of vocabulary is limited, relying heavily on basic verbs like 'showed' and 'reached'. To achieve a higher band, you should incorporate more precise reporting verbs and nouns, such as 'fluctuated,' 'peaked,' 'plummeted,' or 'a marginal decrease,' to describe the data more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentences, but accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent errors with articles ('in sector of the retail'), prepositions ('reached at'), and verb tenses ('the inverse had been true'). Some sentences are run-on or lack proper punctuation, which affects readability. While the meaning is generally clear, the grammatical errors are noticeable and occur throughout the text. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, and try to vary sentence structures by using subordinate clauses more accurately.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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