Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The assigned line graph illustrates the trend of job market in US in four major sector from year 1960 to 2020.

Overall it is clear that manufacturing was the dominating job sector in US economy. However the number of jobs in agriculture sector experienced a gradual decline.

In detail, in 1960, 15 millions people were employed in manufacturing sector. Its figure sharply increased to 20 millions in 1980 before decreasing to less than 15 millions in 2020. Number of jobs in retail sector was stood at approximately 5 millions in 1960. Then its figure climbed significantly to 15 millions before reaching gradually to its peak where its figure amounted at more than 15 millions. Followed by number of jobs in healthcare its figure was recorded as around 2.5 millions in former year but its increased dramatically to same as retail sector in latter year. Jobs in agriculture experienced a slight decline over the period its figure was accounted for more than 5 millions in 1960 but it remained only around 2.5 millions by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends. However, the overview is slightly underdeveloped. While you mention manufacturing and agriculture, you omit the significant growth trends of the retail and healthcare sectors, which are essential features of the graph. The data reporting is generally accurate, but some figures are imprecise (e.g., 'more than 15 millions'). To reach a higher band, ensure the overview captures the most significant trends across all categories rather than focusing on just two. The comparison between sectors is present but could be more explicit in terms of their relative rankings over the 60-year period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and a body paragraph. However, the progression within the body paragraph is somewhat mechanical. You rely on simple transitions like 'Then' and 'Followed by', which makes the flow feel repetitive. The use of cohesive devices is limited, and the paragraphing is functional but could be improved by splitting the detailed data into two distinct paragraphs to separate the sectors more clearly. Referencing is generally clear, but the lack of varied linking words hinders the overall flow of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as 'dominating', 'gradual decline', and 'climbed significantly'. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'Number of jobs in retail sector was stood at' (incorrect passive/active construction) and 'in former year' (which is imprecise). You also repeat 'its figure' multiple times, which limits the sophistication of your writing. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of reporting verbs and nouns to describe trends, and ensure that your collocations are natural and grammatically sound.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as '15 millions people' (should be '15 million people'), 'amounted at' (should be 'amounted to'), and 'its increased dramatically' (should be 'it increased'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. You should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions when describing data points. Increasing the variety of complex sentence structures while ensuring accuracy will help improve this score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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