Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The assigned line graph illustrates the job in manufacturing , retail , agricultural , health care in us from 1960 and 2020 .

Overall , it was clear that retail and healthcare were highest sector in 2020 . however , agricultural were least sector .

In detail , In 1960 manufacturing sector was the highest stood at 15 million . while , retail and agriculture was similar accounted at almost 6 million . and 2 million jobs were shown by health care . further, in 2000 manufacture were declined and accounted at 16 million. while ,retail and agriculture sector was at 15 million and 11 million respectively .and ,health care accounted at 3 million . further more , in 2020 retail and agriculture was similar stood at 15 million . while , manufacture was at 11 million . at last , health care was at 3 million .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which negatively impacts the score. While you have identified the main features and trends, the analysis is somewhat mechanical and lacks a clear, cohesive overview. You have attempted to report data for the four sectors, but some of the figures cited are inaccurate based on typical interpretations of such graphs (e.g., the claim that healthcare was 3 million in 2020 is likely incorrect). To improve, ensure you provide a more accurate summary of the data and extend your analysis to meet the length requirement, ensuring all parts of the prompt are fully addressed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow between sentences is often disjointed. You rely on basic transition words like 'In detail' and 'further more', which feel repetitive and mechanical. The use of cohesive devices is limited, and the paragraphing is not fully effective in separating the overview from the detailed data analysis. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to create a smoother progression of ideas, and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, logical focus.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, often relying on basic verbs like 'was' or 'accounted at'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'least sector' instead of 'the smallest sector' or 'highest sector' instead of 'the largest sector'. You need to incorporate a broader range of vocabulary related to trends and data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant decline'. Expanding your range of descriptive adjectives and adverbs will help you convey information with greater precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'agricultural were least sector', 'manufacture were declined') and article usage. Sentence structures are mostly simple, with limited attempts at complex sentences. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas and periods. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and sentence construction. Incorporating more complex structures, such as relative clauses or participial phrases, will help improve your range, provided they are used accurately.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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