Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
TASK 1
The provided line graph illustrate how many jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, [redacted phone].
Overall, the number of manufacturing largest segment rather than other, while retail got second position, and the number of healthcare was much lower and stay stable 1980 to 2020.
The manufacturing was 20 million jobs in 1980, it decreased to 18 million job in 2000, it was largest figure in this line chart. After that, it fell quickly and reached about 13 millions in 2020. Then retail was recorded 5 million in 1960, and retail increased fastly 5 million to 16 million in 2020.
The agriculture stood at 15 million in 2020 but it was fell about 16 million jobs in 2000 to 3 millions job in 1960. Healthcare was showed the most matcable growth. It increased from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980, then number sharply rose around 11 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the overview is slightly confusing; stating 'manufacturing largest segment rather than other' is grammatically unclear and lacks precision. Furthermore, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state agriculture was 15 million in 2020, but the graph shows it significantly lower, and your description of the timeline is inconsistent. To improve, ensure you carefully verify the data points against the visual and provide a clearer, more accurate summary of the main trends without listing every single figure.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'After that' and 'Then retail was recorded'. The logical progression is hindered by awkward phrasing and confusing transitions between sentences. For example, the transition between the manufacturing data and the retail data is abrupt. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'meanwhile') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You rely heavily on basic verbs like 'increased', 'fell', and 'rose'. There are also issues with word formation and collocation, such as 'matcable growth' (likely meant 'noticeable') and 'fastly' (which is not a standard adverb; 'rapidly' should be used instead). Some phrasing is unnatural, such as 'number sharply rose around 11 million'. To improve, try to incorporate more precise reporting verbs and adverbs to describe trends, and ensure you are using the correct word forms in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('The provided line graph illustrate'), missing articles ('in 1980, it decreased to 18 million job'), and incorrect verb tenses or structures ('Healthcare was showed'). The sentence structures are predominantly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that you are using the correct passive voice constructions for data reporting.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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