Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates about number of jobs in manufacuturing , retail , agriculture , and healthcare sector of economy in the US over the period of 60 years from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is clear that the number of jobs in retail sector had increased gradually from 1960 to 2020, followed by healthcare sector and agriculture had decreased significantly in the same time.

According to graph, number of opportunities in manufacturing sector was on the top at 15 in 1960 but decreased gradually to about 13 in 2020. Amount of jobs in healthcare was fluctuated considerably from 2 to 16 over the period of 60 years, followed by retail who was increased significantly from 6 to 16 in the same period.

The agriculture sector experienced significant decrease in the number of jobs in the period in question.

Healthcare was at the top over the end of 2020 and agriculture was at the lowest level in the same period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and retail and the decline in agriculture and manufacturing. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, the description of the manufacturing sector as 'on the top at 15' lacks precision regarding the units (e.g., millions of jobs). The overview is present but could be more effectively integrated to highlight the most significant shifts. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are clearly linked to the trends described and avoid vague phrasing like 'on the top'.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate. For example, the phrase 'followed by retail who was increased' is grammatically awkward and disrupts the flow. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is functional, but the logical progression could be smoother. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as the use of 'who' for a sector. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used correctly will enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'amount of jobs' (should be 'number of jobs') and 'was fluctuated' (should be 'fluctuated'). The spelling error 'manufacuturing' also detracts from the quality. While the student attempts to describe trends using words like 'gradually' and 'significantly', the range of vocabulary remains limited. To improve, focus on using more sophisticated collocations and ensuring accurate word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include incorrect verb tenses and passive voice usage, such as 'retail who was increased' and 'number of opportunities... was on the top'. Articles are also frequently misused or omitted, for example, 'illustrates about number of jobs' and 'in retail sector'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the response from reaching a higher band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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