Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four field of the economy in the US in between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it is evident that the demand of retail and healthcare sectors increased considerably over the time while the employment in manufacturing increased initially before declined considerably. In contrast, agriculture experienced a continuous decline.

In 1960, manufacturing was the largest employer, with approximately15 million jobs. The number manufacturing jobs then rose to peak of 20 million in 1980. However, figure subsequently declined, falling to around 17 million in 2000 and approximately 12.5 million by 2020. Meanwhile, retail employment increased steadily from 6 million in 1960 to 19 million in 1980, reaching about 14.5 million in 200 and 15.5 million jobs in 2020.

Healthcare also grew considerably, rising from 5 million jobs in 1960 to 4.5 million in 1980 and 10.5 million in 2000, before reaching 15.5 million in 2020. Conversely, agriculture declined from 5.5 million to only 1 million over the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all key features of the graph, including the trends for all four sectors. The overview clearly identifies the main patterns: the growth in retail and healthcare, the fluctuating trend of manufacturing, and the decline in agriculture. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, the text states retail reached 14.5 million in 2000, but the graph shows it closer to 12 million. Additionally, the description of healthcare growth contains a contradiction, stating it rose from 5 million to 4.5 million in 1980, which is logically inconsistent. Improving data accuracy is essential for a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally clear, and the writer uses cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Meanwhile', and 'Conversely' to link information. However, the paragraphing could be improved by grouping the sectors more logically (e.g., those that grew vs. those that declined). Some cohesive links are slightly mechanical, but the overall structure is coherent and easy to follow throughout the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with terms like 'considerably', 'steadily', and 'subsequently' used to describe trends. There are some minor errors, such as 'four field of the economy' (should be 'fields') and 'in between 1960 and 2020' (the 'in' is redundant). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the meaning, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher bands. The repetition of 'jobs' and 'million' is expected in this task, but more varied reporting verbs would enhance the quality.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical slips, such as 'the demand of retail' (should be 'demand in'), 'peak of 20 million' (missing 'a'), and '14.5 million in 200' (typo for 2000). While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede communication. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on article usage and proofreading for minor typos, as well as incorporating a wider variety of complex grammatical structures with greater accuracy.

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