Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph gives details about the number of jobs in four sectors in the United States over 60 year's period. ([redacted phone])

Overall, it can be seen that manufacturing and agriculture rate was decline over the period while, retail and healthcare ratio rose significantly. The job rate of manufacturing was highest in the figure while, agr

To begin with, in 1960, manufacturing rate was highest among all four sectors at 15 million. It rose up to 20 million in 1980, after it dramatically decline at the around 13 million in final year. Moreover, agriculture was 6 million in beginning then in 2020 it was half of beginning.

However, retail and agriculture were 6 and 3 million respectively in the year 1960. After that, the job ratio of both rose sharply and reach at 16 million in the year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. While you have identified the main trends, the summary is incomplete; the text cuts off abruptly in the second paragraph, leaving the overview unfinished. Furthermore, there are factual inaccuracies in your reporting, such as stating that retail and agriculture were 6 and 3 million in 1960, when the graph shows different data points. To improve, ensure you cover all four sectors clearly, provide accurate data points, and complete your analysis to meet the length requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive start. However, the logical flow is disrupted by the incomplete sentence at the end of the first paragraph and the abrupt ending of the essay. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with' and 'However', but they are sometimes used incorrectly (e.g., 'However' is used to introduce a trend that is not necessarily in contrast to the previous point). The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the overall progression of ideas is hindered by the unfinished nature of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You rely heavily on basic terms like 'rose', 'decline', and 'highest'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'job rate' instead of 'number of jobs' or 'employment figures', and '60 year's period' which is grammatically awkward. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'surpassed', and ensure you use nouns and verbs correctly in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'manufacturing and agriculture rate was decline' (should be 'rates declined'), 'at the around 13 million' (incorrect preposition usage), and 'reach at 16 million' (should be 'reached 16 million'). There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the punctuation is inconsistent, particularly with the use of parentheses and commas. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage for past data, and the accurate use of prepositions when describing numerical trends.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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