Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Following is illustrations of the graph which tell us about jobs in different sectors in US from 1960 to 2020. The graph explain and give us data regarding how many jobs in millions were being created by different sectors . The name and information regarding it is given below.

Manufacturing in 1960 US was huge sector and no other sector came close to it, This sector was dominating the US economy by providing 15 million jobs in 1960 , and reaching to the 20 million by 1980 but this sector also start declining

and by 2020 it is not dominating anymore and is even providing less jobs then it was providing in 1960.

Retail sector in 1960 was providing 6 millions jobs and by 2020 it is at its peak reaching 16 millions jobs approximately .

Agriculture take huge hit from providing 6 millions jobs in 1960 to in 2020 providing only 2 million jobs ,and it is one of smallest sector in US economy if we consider number of jobs it create .

Healthcare is a sector which in turns of jobs grow to 8 times , back in 1960 it was contributing 2 million jobs but it grows to 16 million jobs by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the decline of manufacturing and the growth of healthcare. However, the overview is weak; it lacks a clear summary of the most significant trends or a comparison of the sectors at the start and end of the period. The data is generally accurate, but the analysis is somewhat descriptive rather than analytical. To reach a higher band, you should provide a more cohesive overview in the introduction or conclusion that highlights the most striking changes across the entire period, rather than just listing facts for each sector individually.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical. For example, the transition between sentences often feels abrupt, and there is a lack of linking words to show contrast or progression (e.g., 'in contrast', 'meanwhile', 'subsequently'). The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between the introduction and the body paragraphs could be improved by using more sophisticated signposting to guide the reader through the data comparisons.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely on basic verbs like 'give', 'tell', and 'provide'. While you successfully use terms like 'dominating' and 'declining', there is a lack of more sophisticated collocations related to data description (e.g., 'witnessed a significant surge', 'experienced a downward trend'). There are also some minor errors in word choice, such as 'in turns of jobs grow to 8 times', which should be phrased as 'grew eightfold'. Expanding your range of academic vocabulary would significantly improve the quality of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Agriculture take huge hit'), article usage (e.g., 'in US', 'in 2020'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'Following is illustrations of the graph'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and refining sentence structure will be beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.