Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The supplied line graph depicts job information in four sectors varied from the year 1260 to 2020. The data is calibrated in millions.
Overall, it is quite evident that Manufacturing sector was represented for the highest portion in job information, while Agriculture sector was calculate for the lowest one. Furthermore, a significant upturn in the proportion of Healthcare was observed over the given period.
It is conspicuous that Healthcare was started from o in 1960 but after that it rocketed dramatically and reached 15 millions in 2020. Retail started from 5 millions. After few years, it pecked significantly and reached 15 millions in 2000, but after that it grew slowly and reached 17 millions in 2020.
We can see that, Agriculture sector was started from 5 millions. But after few years, it dropped moderately and reached 4 millions in 1980. after that it declined slightly and reached 2 millions in 2020. Manufacturing sector was began 15 millions in 1960, and in 1980 it reached 20 millions. but after this year it dipped very considerably and reached 13 millions in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, the text states Healthcare started at '0' in 1960, whereas the graph indicates a non-zero starting point. Additionally, the year '1260' is a clear typo for '1960', which undermines the accuracy of the report. While the overview captures the general trends, the lack of precision in data interpretation prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure that all figures are transcribed accurately from the graph and that the overview highlights the most significant differences rather than just listing sectors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'It is conspicuous that', and 'After that' are used to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel repetitive. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be improved by varying the sentence structure and using a wider range of linking words to connect the data points more fluidly. The logical progression is generally clear, but the mechanical nature of the linking devices limits the score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'was represented for the highest portion' and 'was calculate for the lowest one'. The word 'pecked' is likely a misspelling of 'peaked', and 'rocketed' is a good attempt at descriptive language. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations related to data description, such as 'accounted for the largest share' or 'experienced a steady decline'. The current range is sufficient to convey meaning but lacks the flexibility and sophistication required for higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'was started', 'was began', 'was calculate'), subject-verb agreement errors, and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several sentences starting with lowercase letters after periods. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and sentence construction impede the overall quality of the writing. Focusing on consistent tense usage and eliminating basic subject-verb errors will significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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