Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given table illustrates the data of the employments in the four categories of economy in the US during the period of 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is the demonstration of the employments in four various sectors of commercial system that are manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. The manufacturing began with peak opportunities and gradually dropped in the last year of 2020.

To begin with Manufacturing, it is on high point overall in 1960 and reached to its peak of 20 millions jobs in the year of 1980. Then, it sharply declined with only 14 millions by end of 2020. Next, the Retails that started with lower numbers (6millions) in 1960 and became double during two decades. It reached to 15 millions working opportunities by 2000 and then steadily increase to highest point of 16 millions in last year 2020.

Furthermore, the Agriculture took it initial step with 6 millions jobs in the year 1960 and then he gradually dipped in further two decades on 3 millions. After that, its proportion remained constant until 2000 and steadily dropped more with 2 millions by 2020. Lastly, the Healthcare started with 2 millions and reached at 5 millions numbers at end of 1980. Then, it showed a sharp rise in the year of 2000 with 11 millions opportunities and touched it’s peak in the last year with 16 millions jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You have successfully identified the main features, such as the peak of manufacturing in 1980 and the significant rise in healthcare. However, the overview is slightly repetitive, as you restate the sectors in the second sentence. To improve, ensure the overview highlights the most significant trends (e.g., the shift from manufacturing to healthcare) rather than just listing the categories. The data points are generally accurate, though the description of manufacturing as having 'peak opportunities' in 1960 is slightly inaccurate as the graph shows it peaking in 1980.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs for the different sectors. You use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'Lastly' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally awkward, such as 'the Retails' and 'the Agriculture', which are not standard ways to refer to these sectors. Improving the flow between sentences and using a wider variety of linking words would help achieve a higher band score.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'sharply declined', 'steadily increase', and 'remained constant'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and minor errors, such as 'employments' (employment is uncountable in this context), 'commercial system' (instead of 'economy'), and 'took it initial step'. Additionally, the use of 'the' before sector names like 'the Retails' and 'the Agriculture' is incorrect. Focusing on collocations and the correct use of uncountable nouns will significantly enhance your lexical precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the last year of 2020'), pluralization ('14 millions'), and subject-verb agreement ('he gradually dipped' referring to Agriculture). There are also some punctuation and possessive errors, such as 'it’s peak' (should be 'its'). To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, specifically regarding articles and the correct use of numbers and units of measurement.

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