Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph provides information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between the year of 1960 and 2020.
Overall, US has offered millions of jobs to their citizens. As the graph shows that number of jobs in sectors of retail and healthcare were escalating year after year. Mostly residents were having no interest in sector of agriculture as jobs were diminishing every year.
Firstly, In the year of 1960, 15 million jobs were in the sector of manufacturing than it boosted to 20 million in 1980 but after that year jobs were diminishing and it reached to about 12 million in the year of 2020. 5 million jobs were in the sector of agriculture and than jobs began to minimize in every year and there was no jobs in 2020.
Secondly, jobs in the sector of retail was escalating every year as it was first 5 million in 1960 and that it reached to 15 million in 2020. Healthcare jobs were also increasing and it boosted to 15 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and lacks precision. For example, stating there were 'no jobs' in agriculture by 2020 is a factual error based on the graph, which shows a decline but not a total disappearance. Additionally, the comparison between sectors is limited. To reach a higher band, you should focus on grouping data more effectively and ensuring that the figures cited are accurate representations of the visual data provided. The overview is present but could be more analytical regarding the overall shift in the US economy.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'Firstly', 'Secondly'). There are also issues with referencing; for instance, 'that it reached to 15 million' is awkward. The logical progression is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and better referencing to avoid repetitive sentence structures. Paragraphing is used, but the content within the paragraphs could be more tightly integrated.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely on basic verbs like 'boosted', 'escalating', and 'minimizing' repeatedly. There are also some collocation errors, such as 'US has offered millions of jobs to their citizens' (the US is a singular entity, so 'its' would be more appropriate) and 'no interest in sector of agriculture'. To improve, you should aim to use more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plateaued', or 'experienced a downward trend', and ensure correct article usage before nouns.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include 'As the graph shows that number of jobs...' (incorrect clause structure), 'than it boosted' (should be 'then'), and 'there was no jobs' (subject-verb agreement error). Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence construction often feels clunky. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to limit the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would significantly improve the clarity of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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