Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph depicts the data of four domains which employed people in US between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing and agriculture count was declining over the time but retail and healthcare sector saw surge by the time passing.

In 1960 manufacturing domain had 15 million jobs and later peaked at 1980 noted to be 20 million and then by the year 2020 the count reduced to 13 million jobs. On the other hand agriculture had 5 million jobs in 1960 which were declined continuously till 2020 and reduced to 2 million jobs.

Retail had 6 million jobs in 1960 and rosed to by 4 million in 1980. By next 5 years it had count of 15 million ans then eventully in 2020 it increses to 16 million jobs. Helthcare was had proportion of 2 million jobs in 1980 which later combined by climbet by 11 million in 2000 and eventully by 2020 it got same number as retail.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For instance, you state that agriculture 'declined continuously' to 2 million, but the graph shows it starting at 5 million and ending at 2 million, which is accurate; however, the description of the healthcare sector is confusing, stating it 'combined by climbet by 11 million in 2000'. The lack of precision in describing the figures and the failure to clearly distinguish between the start and end points for all categories limits the score. To improve, ensure that every figure mentioned is clearly linked to a specific year and sector.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally awkward, such as 'by the time passing' and 'eventully'. The progression of ideas within the body paragraphs is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the final paragraph where the transition between retail and healthcare is abrupt. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the internal flow needs more sophisticated linking words to connect the data points more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several spelling errors, such as 'rosed' (rose), 'ans' (and), 'increses' (increased), 'Helthcare', and 'eventully'. Furthermore, the phrasing is often unnatural, such as 'count was declining' or 'had proportion of'. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise reporting verbs and nouns (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', 'a significant rise') and ensure that your spelling is accurate throughout the text.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'The line graph depicts the data of four domains which employed people in US' (missing article 'the'), 'manufacturing and agriculture count was declining' (subject-verb agreement), and 'Healthcare was had proportion of' (incorrect verb usage). While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles.

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