Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
To summarise the information of jobs trend for [redacted phone] first we have to understand the sectors one by one completely. The highest sector of the economy in the US is Manufacturing as the graph shows the range of manufacturing goes from 15% in 1960 to 20% (the highest so far) in 1980 after that is goes decreases eventually to less than 15% in 2020. And the second best economy for US is Retail starts from 6% to more than 15% in 2020 .In the era of 2000 the manufacturing and retail economy meet at same point which is 15% in nature. Now the two economy sector left which is Agriculture and Healthcare. Agriculture sector have more jobs then healthcare sector in 1960 then the agriculture jobs graph decrease in 1980 and Healthcare job sector show growth in that year. The agriculture graph remain stable till 2000 then its decreases to less than 5% in 2020. On the other hand Healthcare sector show huge growth in 1980 its goes to 5% then in 2000 its show more than 10% and eventually lead to 15% in 2020 also it meet with other two job sectors from 2000 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies some key trends, such as the growth of the healthcare sector and the decline of agriculture. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and lacks a clear overview or summary of the main trends. The description of data points is occasionally inaccurate or confusing, such as stating that manufacturing and retail 'meet at the same point' in 2000, which is not clearly supported by the provided data. To improve, you should focus on grouping the sectors by their overall trends (e.g., those that increased versus those that decreased) and provide a more concise, analytical summary rather than a step-by-step narrative.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is presented as a single paragraph, which makes it difficult to follow. IELTS Academic Task 1 requires clear paragraphing to separate the introduction/overview from the body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often repetitive or mechanical (e.g., 'then', 'and', 'also'). The logical progression is hindered by the lack of clear structure, making the transition between the different sectors feel disjointed. To achieve a higher band, you should use separate paragraphs for your overview and your detailed comparisons, and incorporate a wider variety of linking words to connect your ideas more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety expected at higher levels. You rely on basic terms like 'highest', 'best', 'growth', and 'decrease'. There is also some awkward phrasing, such as 'the two economy sector left' and '15% in nature'. To improve, you should use more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'experienced a downward trend', or 'surpassed'. Additionally, ensure that you use terminology correctly, for example, referring to 'sectors' rather than 'economy' when discussing the specific categories.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the agriculture graph remain stable'), incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'its goes to 5%'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of periods and commas. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, and using consistent tenses when describing historical data. Proofreading for minor errors like 'its' versus 'it's' or 'then' versus 'than' would also be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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