Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart depict illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall the chart compares the four Sector's in U.S naming Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare from year 1960, 1980, 2000 and 2020. The graph of health care and retail shows upward trend whereas agriculture and manufacturing sector shows a steady declining from 1960 - 2020.
Initially healthcare Sector accounted around 0-5 million of jobs in 1960 and which rose by 5 more million more jobs every 20 year later. In year 2020 ,it had reached around 15-20 million jobs. The Next is retail sector which follows the same trend of job . Where in 1960 it was around 5-10 million 1980 10 million job, 2000 15 million jobs and 2020 15-20 million jobs. The manufacturing has shown decline from 15 million jobs in 1960 to 10-15 million jobs in year 2020. However ,in 1980 it was at peak with 20 million jobs and 2000 between 15-20 million jobs.
Lastly Agriculture Sector which is at the lowest with 5million jobs in 1960 and has dropped more from in1980 -2000 with 0.5 million jobs.
Hence we conclude that Each sector shows different changes in different time limits.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and occasionally inaccurate. For instance, stating the healthcare sector started at '0-5 million' is vague, and the description of the manufacturing sector is confusing, as it mentions a peak in 1980 that contradicts the overall 'steady declining' trend mentioned earlier. The overview is present but lacks a clear synthesis of the most significant changes. To improve, ensure that data points are cited precisely from the graph and that the summary highlights the most striking differences between the sectors rather than just listing them.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'The Next is retail sector' and 'Hence we conclude that'. The progression of ideas within paragraphs is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the second paragraph where the transition between sectors feels abrupt. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the concluding sentence is unnecessary for an Academic Task 1 report. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words would significantly enhance the flow of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision. There are several errors in word choice and form, such as 'depict illustrates' (redundant), 'Sector's' (incorrect pluralization), and 'steady declining' (should be 'steady decline'). The range of vocabulary is limited, relying on basic descriptors like 'upward trend' and 'at the lowest'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stagnant', and ensure that word forms are used correctly in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('The line chart depict illustrates'), missing articles ('in U.S', 'in year 2020'), and awkward phrasing ('which rose by 5 more million more jobs'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with misplaced commas and spacing issues. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for articles and plurals would be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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