Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line chart illustrates the number of employment opportunities in the manufacturing, retail, healthcare and agriculture sectors over a period of 60 years from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, number of jobs available in retail and healthcare sectors show a linear increase throughout the period while posts in agriculture sector decrease steadily. Manufacturing jobs however show fluctuations with a rise in 1980 followed by a steady fall.

Manufacturing industry experienced a surge of jobs in 1980 with an increase of 5 million more people from the previous 15 million people which eventually reduced to 13.5 million people by 2020. Jobs in agriculture sector decreased from 6 to 3 million people. This number remained the same for the next 20 years and finally fell to around 2 million people.

Employment positions in retail and healthcare sectors both rose gradually throughout the 80 years. Healthcare jobs increased from 2 to 16 million by 2020 while retail positions grew by 9 million from 1960 to 2

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the task achievement is hindered by a significant error in the final sentence, which is incomplete ('grew by 9 million from 1960 to 2'), and an inaccurate timeframe reference ('80 years' instead of 60). While the overview is clear, the data reporting for the retail sector is left unfinished, which prevents a full summary of the information provided in the graph. To improve, ensure all data points are fully articulated and that the summary accurately reflects the provided time period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally clear, moving from general trends to specific sector details. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'however', and 'while' are used effectively to link ideas. However, the cohesion is disrupted at the very end of the text due to the incomplete sentence, which leaves the reader without a sense of closure. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors, contributing to the overall readability of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with terms like 'employment opportunities', 'fluctuations', 'surge', and 'steadily' used correctly. There is an attempt to use varied language to describe trends, which is positive. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive in its structure, and the incomplete final sentence limits the demonstration of a wider range. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure that all sentences are completed to maintain a professional and academic tone throughout the entire response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical inaccuracies, such as the missing article in 'Overall, number of jobs...' and the incorrect timeframe mentioned in the final paragraph. The most significant issue is the incomplete sentence at the end, which is a major grammatical failure. While the majority of the sentences are understandable, these errors and the lack of completion in the final clause prevent the response from achieving a higher score. Focus on proofreading to catch missing articles and incomplete thoughts.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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