Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates about the number of employments of the US economy in four sectors namey, manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare, between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it is clear that figure of jobs in maufacturing and agriculture sector declined over the period in 2020, while proportion of jobs in retail and healthcsare rose throught the period. Moreover, the retail and healthcare have same percentage of jobs at the begining.

In 1960, the number of jobs in manufacturing sector stood at 15 million, which climbed gradually to 20 million in 1980. It then dropped sharply to approximately 13 million jobs in 2020. The figure of employments in agriculture sector accounted for about 6 million in 1960, which fell to about 3 million jobs in 1980. It remained constant till 2000 and slightly declined to 2 million jobs in 2020.

However, retail and healthcaare department followed a different trend. The proportion of occupations in retaill sector recorded 3 million in 1960 which rose steadily to approximately 14 million jobs in 2000, It then increased to about 17 million jobs in 2020, whereas healthcare sector has only 2 milion jobs in 1960, which increased slightly to about 5 milion jobs in 1980. The figure went up gradually and recorrded approximately 16 million employments in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting the contrasting trends between the declining sectors (manufacturing and agriculture) and the growing ones (retail and healthcare). However, there are some inaccuracies in your data reporting. For instance, you state that retail and healthcare had the same percentage of jobs at the beginning, but the graph shows them starting at different points (3 million and 2 million). Additionally, ensure you use the term 'number of jobs' rather than 'proportion' unless the graph specifically indicates percentages.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response is logically organized, with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on the different trends. You use cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'However', and 'whereas' to link ideas effectively. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the declining sectors from the growing ones. While the flow is generally good, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as the use of 'figure of employments', which is slightly unnatural. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'climbed gradually', 'dropped sharply', and 'remained constant'. However, there are several spelling errors throughout the text, including 'namey', 'maufacturing', 'healthcsare', 'throught', 'retaill', and 'recorrded'. These errors are frequent enough to be noticeable. To reach a higher band, you should focus on more precise collocations and ensure accuracy in spelling. Using 'department' to refer to an economic sector is also slightly inaccurate; 'sector' or 'industry' would be more appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as the use of relative clauses ('which climbed gradually to 20 million'). There are several grammatical slips, such as 'illustrates about the number', 'figure of jobs' (should be 'the figure for jobs'), and 'healthcare sector has only 2 milion jobs' (should be 'had'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles will help improve your accuracy.

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