Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line chart illustrates the number of employment opportunities in the manufacturing, retail, healthcare and agriculture sectors over a period of 60 years from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, number of jobs available in the retail and the healthcare sectors show a linear increase throughout the period while posts in the agriculture sector decrease steadily. Manufacturing jobs however show fluctuations with a rise in 1980 followed by a steady fall.

Manufacturing industry experienced a surge of jobs in 1980 with an increase of 5 million more people from the previous 15 million people which eventually reduced to 13.5 million people by 2020. Agricultural jobs decreased from 6 to 3 million people. This number remained the same for the next 20 years and finally fell to around 2 million people.

Employment positions in the retail and the healthcare sectors both rose gradually throughout the 60 years. Healthcare jobs increased from 2 to 16 million by 2020 while retail positions grew by 9 million from 1960 to 2000. In the period from 2000 to 2020, retail posts grew very slowly with an increase of just 1 million by the end of the 20 years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response effectively covers all four sectors and identifies key trends over the 60-year period. You have successfully highlighted the main features, such as the growth in healthcare and retail versus the decline in agriculture. The overview is clear and provides a good summary of the data. However, to reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are accurate. For instance, you mentioned a surge in manufacturing in 1980, but the description of the figures could be more precise to ensure the reader can follow the trends without ambiguity. Overall, the task is well-addressed with a logical selection of data.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized, with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on different sectors. The progression of ideas is smooth, and you use cohesive devices like 'however', 'while', and 'in the period from' to link information effectively. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the declining sectors from the growing ones. To improve, ensure that referencing is always clear; for example, in the second paragraph, the transition between the manufacturing and agricultural trends is slightly abrupt. Overall, the structure is coherent and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly, using terms like 'fluctuations', 'surge', and 'gradually'. The language is appropriate for an academic report. There are some minor issues with collocation, such as 'posts in the agriculture sector', where 'jobs' or 'employment' would be more natural. Additionally, the phrasing 'increase of 5 million more people' is slightly repetitive. To achieve a higher band, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and vary your descriptive verbs to avoid repetition.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. Most sentences are clear and error-free, though there are some minor grammatical slips, such as 'Overall, number of jobs' (missing the article 'the') and 'Manufacturing industry experienced' (missing 'The'). These errors are infrequent and do not impede communication. Your control over punctuation is generally good, and the sentence variety helps maintain the reader's interest. To improve, focus on consistent article usage and subject-verb agreement in more complex sentence constructions.

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