Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the number of jobs in the US economy at different decades in four departments Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare. In 1980, There was multiple opportunities of working in Retail sector. The slop of getting jobs in this field increases continuously untill 2020. As for manufacturing field, there was enough opportunities for people to work in this sector. Although, it's start declining in later years till 2020. There is a leap in the graph, which shows that in 1960 there wasn't enough working chances for people who serve in healthcare center. However, availability of services in healthcare after that time period till 2020 had increased. Lastly, trends of getting job in the Agriculture department was reduced. Additionally, during the year laps of 1960 to 1980 there was a sharp decrease in jobs related to agriculture. Overall, we can say that healthcare institutes was the most recruiting department till 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the four sectors, but the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you identify trends for Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare, the description lacks precision regarding the data points. For instance, you mention a 'leap' in 1960 for healthcare without providing specific figures or comparing the relative sizes of the sectors. The overview at the end is helpful, but the report would benefit from a more structured approach, such as grouping sectors by their growth or decline patterns. To improve, ensure you include specific data points from the graph to support your observations.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into a single paragraph, which makes it difficult to follow the progression of ideas. IELTS Task 1 responses should ideally be structured into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs to clearly separate the data. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Although', 'However', and 'Lastly', the flow is somewhat mechanical. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'availability of services in healthcare after that time period', which lacks a specific temporal anchor. Improving paragraphing and using a wider variety of linking words would enhance the logical flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for higher bands. You use some informal or inaccurate phrasing, such as 'departments' instead of 'sectors', 'slop' instead of 'slope' or 'trend', and 'working chances' instead of 'job opportunities'. There are also some awkward collocations like 'year laps' and 'recruiting department'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more academic vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a downward trend'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are several grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Subject-verb agreement is inconsistent, for example, 'healthcare institutes was' should be 'healthcare institutes were', and 'it's start declining' should be 'it started to decline'. There are also issues with article usage and sentence structure, such as 'There was multiple opportunities'. While you attempt some complex sentences, they often contain errors. To improve, focus on basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with pluralisation, verb tenses, and subject-verb agreement, before attempting more complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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