Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

he number of jobs in manufacturing sector stood at 15 millions in 1960 and the figure slightly rise to 20 millions in 1980. The graph provides about information the number of jobs in four sectors ( Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare ) of the economy in the US over a 60-year periods, starting from 1960.

Overall, it is evident from the line graph that, there was a significant increased trend in agricultral and retail job sectors, whereas manufacturing and healthcare showed a slightly decreased trend throughout the period. Furthermore, there was a similar number of jobs in agricultral and retail job sector in the final year.

Looking first at the sectors that experienced growth, the number of jobs in agricultral and retail sectors of economy were observed to rise from 6 millions and 3 millions to just over 15 millions respectively over the period.

On the otherhand, in agricultural sector, there was a slightly delined trend accounted for approximately 2 millions in the year from 1960 to 2020. Moreover, tHowever, in the final year jobs accounted for approximately 14 millions in manufacturing sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to summarise the main features of the graph, but it fails to accurately report the data. For instance, you state that agriculture and retail showed an 'increased trend' while manufacturing and healthcare 'decreased', which contradicts the visual data provided. Furthermore, the description of the figures is inconsistent and confusing; you mention '15 millions' and '20 millions' for manufacturing, but then later claim it ended at '14 millions'. The overview is present but inaccurate. To improve, you must ensure that the data points selected are correctly interpreted and that your summary reflects the actual trends shown in the graph rather than making contradictory statements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression is hindered by the factual inaccuracies and confusing transitions. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Overall', 'Furthermore', and 'Looking first at', the connections between sentences are often weak because the information provided is contradictory. For example, the transition 'On the otherhand' is used to introduce information that does not clearly contrast with the previous paragraph in a logical way. To improve, focus on ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic and that the information flows logically from one point to the next without contradicting itself.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are several errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'agricultral' (agricultural) and 'delined' (declined). You also struggle with collocations, such as 'significant increased trend' instead of 'significant upward trend'. While you attempt to use sector-specific terminology, the lack of precision in reporting the numbers limits your score. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensure that your spelling is accurate. Avoid repetitive phrasing and try to use a wider variety of verbs to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'surpassed'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'the figure slightly rise' (should be 'rose'), 'over a 60-year periods' (should be 'period'), and 'there was a similar number of jobs in agricultral and retail job sector' (should be 'sectors'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage and spacing. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage, as you are describing past data.

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