Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph below illustrate the information about the types of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 to 2020. Here is the report of the graph.
Overall, it can be seen that manufacturing had 15 millions jobs in 1960 but on the other hand health is the one of the most less jobs in 1960 about 2 millons.
Manufacuturing had 15 millions jobs in 1960 , respectively slightly increase in 1980, In 2020 it decrease to 12 millons.there is major change in healthcare jobs there is 2 millions jobs in 1960 nevertheless is rapidly increase to 15 millions in 2020.
If we consider one of the most underrating or less jobs then Agriculture is here, there is 6 millions jobs in 1960 and only 2 millions jobs in 2020.
Retail always have a limelight it had 6 millions jobs but it show improvement and gain 15 millions jobs in the era of 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the graph, but the analysis is superficial. While you identify the starting and ending points for most sectors, the description lacks a clear overview of the trends. The 'Overall' paragraph is weak, as it merely lists two data points rather than highlighting the main features or significant shifts. Additionally, the data interpretation is sometimes inaccurate; for example, stating that manufacturing 'slightly increased' in 1980 is not clearly supported by the visual trend, and the phrasing 'most less jobs' is imprecise. To improve, focus on grouping the sectors by their trends (e.g., those that grew versus those that declined) and ensure the overview captures the most significant changes over the 60-year period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is disjointed. The introduction is repetitive, and the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often mechanical or misused, such as 'nevertheless is rapidly increase' and 'on the other hand health is the one of the most less jobs'. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between the different sectors. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would significantly enhance the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. You rely on basic phrasing such as 'jobs' and 'millions' throughout the text. There are several instances of awkward word choices and non-standard collocations, such as 'most less jobs', 'underrating', and 'limelight'. Spelling errors, such as 'Manufacuturing', also detract from the quality of the response. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuate', 'decline', 'surge', or 'plateau', and ensure that your word choices are contextually appropriate for a formal report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The graph below illustrate', 'Retail always have'), tense usage (e.g., 'it show improvement'), and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or lack necessary articles and prepositions. While there is an attempt to use complex structures, they are often faulty, leading to confusion. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring consistent verb tenses when describing past data, and proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect pluralization.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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