Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the data of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, this data gives us the information which job sector was increased over the period. The four sectors are manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare.
In 1960, the number of manufacturing jobs was increased by 5 millions than in 2020, a moderate declined was observed in the field of manufacturing.
From 1960 to 2000, an upward trajectory was shown in the retail sector and this was increased from 5 millions to 15 millions. However in 2020 a small changed was observed.
In 1960, only 2 millions people were doing healthcare jobs but from 1980 to 2020 a steadily rose was shown in the graph. In 2020, the graph also represent diverge of manufacturing and healthcare.
Initially, around 6 million individuals was started their job in agriculture but minimal decreased can be shown.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the graph and provides an overview, though the overview is somewhat weak as it does not clearly highlight the main trends or significant differences. While you have identified the sectors, the description of the data is occasionally inaccurate or confusing. For example, stating that manufacturing jobs 'was increased by 5 millions than in 2020' is factually unclear and grammatically problematic. To improve, ensure you clearly contrast the starting and ending points and group the sectors by their overall trends (e.g., those that grew versus those that declined) to provide a more analytical summary of the main features.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the logical progression between sentences is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and a lack of cohesive devices. For instance, the transition 'However in 2020 a small changed was observed' is abrupt. While you use some linking words like 'Overall' and 'Initially', the flow is often mechanical. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'in contrast', 'consequently', 'furthermore') to connect your ideas more fluidly and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. You rely on basic verbs like 'increased' and 'shown' repeatedly. There are also errors in word formation, such as 'a steadily rose' (should be 'a steady rise') and 'a moderate declined' (should be 'a moderate decline'). To improve, try to incorporate more specific vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable'. Additionally, ensure you use the correct word forms (nouns vs. verbs) to avoid distracting errors that impact the clarity of your report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'the number of manufacturing jobs was increased' (passive voice error), '6 million individuals was started' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'the graph also represent' (subject-verb agreement). These errors are persistent throughout the text. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and the correct use of passive and active voice. Proofreading for these specific types of errors will significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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