Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The given line graph illustrates the information regarding to the occupations in four sectors of the economy in the us from 1960 to 2020.the units are measured in millions.
Overall,the evidence shows that retail and healthcare sectors roses to the highest whereas, agriculture sector is drop to the lowest of all.
The given graph shows the number of jobs in four different sectors namely, agriculture,retail,healthcare and manufacturing.
In 1960 manufacturing sector has increased to 20 millions in 1980 it was slightly dicreased to 17 million in 2000 and again drop at 13 million in the year 2020.while, retail sector has raised significantly from 5 million to 15 million.
The agriculture sector has shown a plummeting drop in 1980 from 5 million to 1 million.where as, the healthsector in 1960 has enourmously increased from 1 million to 15millions in the year 2020.it has shown a significant growth in the year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides a general overview, though the overview is slightly inaccurate (e.g., stating agriculture dropped to the lowest, which is true, but the phrasing is awkward). The main features are identified, but the data reporting is inconsistent. For instance, the description of the manufacturing sector is confusing, as it claims it 'increased to 20 million' in 1960, which is not supported by the graph. Additionally, the description of the agriculture sector is imprecise. To improve, ensure that data points are accurately extracted and that the overview clearly highlights the most significant trends rather than just listing sectors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hampered by poor sentence structure and mechanical errors. While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices like 'whereas' and 'while', they are often used incorrectly or with improper punctuation. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the progression of ideas between sentences is disjointed. The lack of proper spacing after punctuation marks and the inconsistent capitalization throughout the text make the essay difficult to follow. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring standard paragraphing conventions are followed would significantly enhance the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. There are frequent errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'roses' instead of 'rose', 'dicreased' instead of 'decreased', and 'enourmously' instead of 'enormously'. These errors occasionally impede the reader's understanding. The student relies on basic descriptive terms and struggles to use more sophisticated vocabulary appropriate for an academic report. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on learning accurate collocations for describing trends (e.g., 'a significant increase' rather than 'enormously increased') and proofreading for basic spelling mistakes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a high frequency of grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('agriculture sector is drop'), incorrect verb tenses, and missing articles. Sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences are often faulty or punctuated incorrectly. For example, the sentence 'In 1960 manufacturing sector has increased to 20 millions in 1980' is grammatically incorrect and confusing. Punctuation is also a major issue, with missing spaces after periods and commas. A focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement is essential for improvement.
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