Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph tells us about the data of the number of jobs in four distinctive sectors of the economy in the United States in from the year of 1960 to 2020.
The line graph consists of four lines plotted in between X-axis and Y-axis. Along the X-axis is given the years starting from 1960 to 2020. Along Y-axis number of jobs is given in mullions unit.
In the manufacturing hub the number of jobs were 15 million in 1960 which increased up to a number of 20 million in the year of 1980. Then it shows a gradual decline to a figure of 13 million till the year of 2020. On other side, in retailing the jobs were about 6 million in starting year of 1960. This shows an incline of about 15 million till the year of 2000. Then the number of jobs increased gradually to 16 million in the year of 2020.
Now comes to the agriculture area, the jobs were about same 6 million in 1960. In this field the jobs decreased to 3 million in 1980. Then it remains same till the year of 2000. After that these were further decreased to about 2 million in the year of 2020. At the last in the healthcare hub, the figure of jobs in the year of 1980 was about 23 million. This figure then showed an incline up to the 15 million till the year of 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends. However, there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, you state healthcare jobs reached 15 million by 2020, but the graph shows a much higher figure (around 25 million). Additionally, the description of the manufacturing sector's peak is slightly off. While you have selected main features, the lack of precision in interpreting the data points hinders the task achievement. To reach a higher band, ensure that figures are read accurately from the axes and that comparisons between sectors are more explicitly highlighted rather than just listing data for each sector individually.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'Then', 'In this field', 'After that'). The transition between sentences often feels like a list of facts rather than a cohesive analysis of the trends. While the progression is logical, the lack of sophisticated linking words and the somewhat disjointed flow between the introduction and the body paragraphs limit the score. Improving the variety of transition signals would enhance the overall flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. You rely on basic verbs like 'increased', 'decreased', and 'remained'. There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'manufacturing hub' and 'retailing' (instead of retail sector), and the phrase 'incline of about 15 million' is not standard academic English. To improve, try to incorporate more precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'surged', 'plummeted', or 'stabilised', and ensure collocations are natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include 'in from the year of 1960', 'in mullions unit', 'the number of jobs were' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'Now comes to the agriculture area'. These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader, although they do not fully impede communication. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and refining sentence structure to avoid repetitive phrasing. A greater variety of complex structures would also help demonstrate better control.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.