Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph provides information about the number of jobs in four sectors (Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare) of the economy in the US over a 60-year period, starting from 1960.
Overall, it is evident from the line graph that there was a significant increasing trend in agricultural and retail job sectors, whereas manufacturing and healthcare showed a slightly downward trend throughout the period. Furthermore, there was a similar number of jobs in agricultural and retail job sectors in the final year.
Looking first at the sectors that experienced growth, the number of jobs in the agricultural and retail sectors of the economy was observed to rise from 6 million and 3 million to just over 15 million respectively over the period.
On the other hand, in the agricultural sector, there was a slightly declining trend accounted of approximately 2 million in the year from 1960 to 2020. Moreover, the number of jobs in the manufacturing sector stood at 15 million in 1960 and the figure slightly rose to 20 million in 1980. However, in the final year jobs accounted for approximately 14 million in the manufacturing sector.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to summarise the main features of the graph, but it contains significant factual inaccuracies that misrepresent the data. For instance, you state that manufacturing and healthcare showed a downward trend, whereas the graph indicates these sectors fluctuated or remained relatively stable. Furthermore, you describe the agricultural sector as having a 'slightly declining trend' from 1960 to 2020, which contradicts the visual data showing growth. Because the report relies on incorrect data interpretation, it fails to accurately convey the information presented in the prompt. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your written summary with the visual data provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'Furthermore', 'Looking first at', and 'On the other hand' to link ideas. However, the progression of information is sometimes confusing due to the factual errors mentioned in the task achievement section. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly when discussing the sectors, which makes the logical flow feel disjointed. Improving the precision of your data reporting will naturally help the coherence of your argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'significant increasing trend', 'fluctuated', and 'accounted for'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'accounted of approximately 2 million' and 'the figure slightly rose'. These errors do not generally impede communication, but they limit the precision of your writing. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations when describing trends, such as 'experienced a marginal decline' rather than 'accounted of'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'there was a similar number of jobs in agricultural and retail job sectors' (which is slightly repetitive) and 'in the year from 1960 to 2020'. The sentence structure is generally functional, but the control over complex structures is inconsistent. To improve, focus on ensuring subject-verb agreement and refining the use of prepositions when describing timeframes and numerical values.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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