Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph presents data about the figure of jobs in four different categories that effected the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the manufacturing organizations have large number of jobs at the start of period but after some years the trend become downward as the Agriculture has similar direction through out the period. Whereas, retail and healthcare industries seen a significant growth and become the highest businesses that generate economy for the US.
initialy, 15 million jobs were available in the manufacturing sector by 1960, which was a great number in correspond to other three categories. After the two decades manufacturers were offering almost 20 million jobs and then a dramatic decline occured and those figures was around 13 million in 2020. Similarly, agricultural industory offered about 6 million jobs in 1960 and after each decade those numbers fell down and faced a huge decline in 2020 by touching about 2 million of employments.
However, the retails started from 6 million as thand healthcare was almost 3 million in 1960, the both industries grow well and reached the same point at the end of priod, it was about 16 million and become the sectors that generated a large number of revenue.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For example, the description of the retail and healthcare sectors is slightly inaccurate, as the graph shows these sectors reaching different peaks rather than the exact same point. Additionally, the overview is a bit cluttered, and the claim that these sectors 'generate economy' is vague. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are cited more precisely and that the overview highlights the most significant shifts more clearly without over-generalizing.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into four paragraphs, which is appropriate for this task. There is a logical progression from the introduction to the overview and then to the body paragraphs. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'initialy' (spelling error) and 'the both industries'. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the transition between ideas could be smoother. While the overall structure is coherent, the lack of sophisticated linking words and some minor errors in referencing limit the score for this criterion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and sophistication. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'figure of jobs' instead of 'number of jobs', 'effected' instead of 'affected', and 'industory' (spelling error). The phrase 'generate economy' is not standard collocation. While the student successfully uses terms like 'dramatic decline' and 'significant growth', the overall lexical control is limited, and there are recurring spelling and word-choice errors that occasionally hinder the flow of the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('retail and healthcare industries seen'), incorrect verb tenses ('the trend become downward'), and missing articles or prepositions ('in correspond to', 'at the start of period'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally clear despite these errors, the frequency of mistakes in basic grammar prevents the response from reaching a higher band. More attention to proofreading for tense consistency and article usage is needed.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.